Pencils down Death rays up
by Vaunt
Summary: This is it. No one listened to Shepard, and the Reapers invade Earth. But since this is an old World of Darkness crossover, invading Earth is a pretty dumb move.
1. Chapter 1

Before them the earth shakes, the heavens tremble, the sun and moon are darkened, and the stars no longer shine.  
-Joel 2:10, Christian Bible

* * *

When the Reapers descended on Earth, the second most common thoughts were "Shepard was right." along with "We're all going to die." and "Oh, shit." The most common thought, in different variations, and by several margins of magnitude, was "I don't believe this is happening."

Humans are predictable that way.

The good news, at least for humanity, was the world-wide instant disbelief caused paradox to suffer a DDOS attack. It normally wouldn't take long for paradox to get back on track, but sadly for the Reapers, their continued presence would continue to inhibit this until it was too late.

* * *

By the time the Reapers actually attacked Earth, all of Earth's supernatural denizens knew it was coming long ago. It's not like they were surprised an ancient force was lying in wait to destroy all its enemies; it was a perfectly legitimate attack strategy they practiced among themselves, after all. Plus, the ability to see the future also helped.

So when the Reapers burst through the Relay around Pluto, and hurled themselves at the Earth, their dramatic entrance and assault was spoiled when Earth's atmosphere hardened into a solid shield and smeared the first few Reapers that tried to dramatically dive onto the 'defenseless' planet.

Internet video of space-suited astronauts tinkering with satellites at the edge of Earth's atmosphere just before this event was seen as a hoax; the cross-legged naked old men beating on drums while floating in space next to them seemed like bad video editing, at best.

The next few Reapers that got to Earth were a bit more cautious; planetary shields were a bit outside of the normal reaping process. Unfortunately, all this caution meant they were easier targets for surface based annihilation beam weapons and other, stranger, weapons including missiles spewing metal-eating viruses, flying wooden coffins that somehow couldn't be hit, but turned anything near them into dust, and death rays coming from _the sun itself_.

Angered and a little embarrassed that their overwhelming attack wasn't going as planned, the Reaper forces seized the shield and in a coordinated burst of strength, crushed it between their mighty, mighty tentacles. Mollified that things were back on track, they proceeded to land on the densely populated cities of Earth, eager to convert the native population into husks to fuel their march across the sentients of the galaxy.

Things started to go wrong again immediately; the Reaper descending on Tokyo was abruptly knocked off course when it was apparently hit with a flying kick from a single human who wasn't wearing a shirt. Landing face first in Tokyo Bay, it found itself under attack from numerous sources, including sharks with laser beams attached to their heads. Each time it tried to straighten itself, it was knocked back down into the water by more figures appearing out of nowhere, who proceeded to kick it in the face before disappearing. These blows somehow were strong enough to cause it to upend into the water again and again, and the Reaper died without being able to kill a single human.

Other attacks went better, of course.

New York fell within twenty minutes, and the Reaper there began to convert the local population on schedule. However, after a few hours, night fell and the New York Reaper quickly realized that the only reason things went so easily for it earlier was it attacked during the daytime. Ferocious man-shaped monsters tore through its own army of less effective man-shaped monsters, and proceeded to display a range of abilities far beyond what it understood to be humanly capable. It got slightly concerned when several of these monsters began to bodily attack itself, even biting its body, but by the time it stopped trying to defend itself and try to escape, it was too late. Bitten and sucked dry by hundreds of vampires, it was messily diablerized. This in turn would become a problem in itself, but the Reaper wasn't around to appreciate that.

Similar stories were occurring around the globe.

After carefully herding together the docile local population in Kansas City, the Reaper was surprised when the populace popped chainguns out of their bodies and shredded it with mass effect charged hyper velocity rounds.

Several Reapers reported their forces were being ripped apart by things jumping out of mirrors, water, and other reflective surfaces; hulking ferocious beasts of unstoppable destruction who then vanished into thin air.

Others had all manner of bizarre phenomena happen to them, ranging from being repeatedly struck by lightning to going crazy and attacking other Reapers.

Even where things were not going disastrously wrong, things were still not going right. Somehow the humans still had power and communications going despite the Reapers shelling all power stations and destroying every communication satellite they found. Messages were going across the globe urging humanity to resist, and local communications were directing people to shelters, weapon caches, and coordinating defense and attacks against the Reapers.

This was becoming a problem.

More and more Reapers were being recalled to continue the assault on Earth; instead of being a galaxy-wide omni-present strike, the Reapers were becoming bogged down by a single planet.

Even as more and more Reapers poured into the solar system, the Reapers on Earth faced a hard truth; they couldn't leave. When they tried to leave Earth's atmosphere, they were shredded by countless invisible blades. They had never encountered anything like this before, in almost a billion years of harvesting.

Then the Antediluvians woke up.

_AN: This story could have come in two flavors; mage only, or all the oWoD crammed together. _As this is a humor piece and not designed to be taken seriously, I find it more hilarious if I throw everything into the pot. _It also could have been a grim depressing desperate struggle for survival as per the World of Darkness setting. Unfortunately for the Reapers, their inclusion has made the Tellurian a less darker place. _


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.  
Hosea 4:6, Christian Bible

_5 months before the Reaper invasion_

Shepard's trial flip-flopped between painfully boring and frustratingly painful. They were now in a long period of witness reviews Shepard wasn't allowed to interact or interfere with, so she was confined to quarters with nothing to do.

There was a TV with all the channels, but as had been noted for years, the more channels, the less was on the air.

*kzzt*

"World-wide blood donations are up to record highs this year, as corporate tax incentives prove even the most heartless companies can open up a vein if there's profit…"

*kzzt*

"Next on Paranormal Activity, we investigate ghost sightings in Missouri as-"

*kzzt*

"The 217th annual Full Contact Karate Open Championships are set to begin next week, with martial artists from around the world gathering to compete…"

*kzzt*

"Repent! Armageddon is upon us! Open your eyes and see! Awaken! Feel the hand of God within-"

*kzzt*

*kzzt*

*kzzt*

Shepard turned the TV off, and flopped back on the couch. If only humanity knew what was coming. If only people would listen. If only there was more time to prepare…

* * *

In the months before the Reapers attacked, a new meme swept Terra. 'Humanity, fuck yeah' or HFY as it commonly referred to appeared in various mediums across the globe. Some newscasters brought it up as reactionary xenophobic paranoia in the ongoing media frenzy of Commander Shepard's tribunal and the batarian demands that the earth repatriate her to face batarian justice, but the main thrust of the HFY message was humans sticking up for each other. The most famous vid of HFY was security footage taken outside of Hilcorp Energy. Jason Hildebrand, CEO, was accosted by an infamous street gang, the 10th street reds as he was entering his air car.

Camera footage showed Jason and his bodyguard enter the parking lot. It was night, but the lot was brightly lit. As they neared their air car, the lot lights flickered out. When they came back on a few moments later, a dozen 10th street red gang members had appeared and surrounded Jason and his guard during the brief blackout.

Everyone stood still. The gang members held a variety of guns and melee weapons, while Jason's bodyguard has his own pistol drawn. Hand gripped weapons tightly. Potential violence simmered in the air. The leader of the Reds slowly walked up to Jason, and looked him in the eyes. The lot microphones picked up their short conversation.

"Humans?"

Jason Hildebrand stood for a moment, and then nodded seriously.

"Fuck yes."

Then they shook hands, and the 10th Street Reds walked away into the night.

Animated gifs and derivative homages of their conversation and handshake flooded the extranet, reaching over 1 billion views collectively in less than a week.

Corporate public relations and charitable donations soared.

Terrorism attacks suddenly stopped.

New Yorkers started holding subway doors for last minute passengers.

Ancient grudges were being forgiven.

There was peace in the Middle East.

The Red Sox won again.

It truly was the end of the world.

* * *

_30 minutes before reaper presence in Sol system_

"Psst!"

Shepard looked around. There was nobody nearby.

"Psst! Up here!"

Shepard looked up at the ceiling. A grinning face was pressed against the ventilation grid. A kid?

"Commander Shepard, hi! I'm here to help you get out of here."

Shepard frowned.

"Who are you, and who are you working for? I'm not going anywhere. I turned myself over to the Alliance, I'm not going to run out now."

The kid frowned and then smiled again. "Huh? No, no. I just mean that I'm here to drop off some supplies so when you _do_ escape, you'll have an easy go of it. 'Obviating challenges via BS preparation' is our motto. I could have just had this delivered, but I wanted to say hello in person."

With that, he pried open the ventilation grille, dropped a small letter onto the table below, gave Shepard a jaunty wave, then squeezed his way back up the ventilation shaft, closing the grille behind him.

Shepard blinked. What just happened here? She made her way over to the table and looked at the letter.

It was a pale red, with her name on the front. Shrugging, she gently ripped it open. Inside was a card. She pulled it out.

On the front, in large letters were the words "Congratulations on getting out of jail!"

Shepard frowned as she turned the card over, still unopened. She blinked, and looked at the small logo on the back. "Hallmark?"

She opened the card. Inside, the card said, "We missed you!" Handwritten notes below the printed text continued, "We all knew you were right! Try not to rub it in _too_ badly."

Inside the card was a security keycard, and a folded up piece of paper.

Unfolding the paper revealed a cartoon map showing a Shepard stick figure and a path of arrows leading to another smiling stick figure labeled 'Admiral Anderson'

"What."

That's when the wailing alarms started sounding.

Shepard looked at the keycard in her hand, at the locked door to her room, then back at the card. She shrugged, then map in hand strode to the door. With a swipe, the door opened, and Shepard followed the simple directions to her mentor.

The panicking crowds stampeding through the halls didn't even notice her leave.

_AN: I have so many snips to add to this story._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_AN: I didn't like the last chapter that much; it felt too serious. Traditional storytelling with plot? Bah, who needs that? Where's the lols? I had to rectify this, and hence this chapter appears._

I will bring `them' again from the depths of the sea; That thou mayest crush `them', `dipping' thy foot in blood, That the tongue of thy dogs may have its portion from `thine' enemies.  
Psalms, 68:22-23, American Standard version, Christian Bible

_1__st__ day of the Reaper invasion of Earth, Montreal_

Fiala Karalosi could no longer muster the energy to be surprised.

When the alarms first went off, she was excited. Something _interesting_ was happening, and she was about to perform the sacred responsibility of sharing the news with the galaxy. She would uphold the image of the Asari as the calm, competent, sexy face of the citadel races.

Her excitement turned to surprise and fear when she saw the giant black ship come down onto the city, spreading tentacles reaching open as if to grasp and seize.

Another shock was thrust on her when she was forced to flee for her life from rampaging techno-zombies.

When the techno zombies cornered her, her resolve broke and she curled up gibbering and crying in a corner of an alley.

Getting saved at the last minute by animal-people wielding archaic melee weapons, who jumped down from the roof was the last straw; she had nothing left. By the time she was being gently handed over unharmed to a group of strangely dressed humans drawing designs in the middle of the road, she was no longer fazed by the craziness of what was happening around her.

One of the humans saw them approach, and trotted over to the hulking predator animal-thing gently holding her.

"Greetings Garou. I am James bani Hermes. How may I be of service?" he politely asked.

She wasn't surprised when the murder-beast talked back. At all. Nothing could penetrate her floating sense of non-reality. "Found the azure girl about to be eaten by husks. She's a reporter."

James smiled. "Great, maybe a little video will help the rest of the world keep sticking it to the Reapers."

He grabbed her arm and turned. Waving behind at the Garou with his other hand, he pulled her back to the other figures tracing strange patterns on the asphalt.

"Ok, check it out; we sent out a tweet and got a baker's dozen Forces disciples and adepts who were available." This sentence made absolutely no sense to Fiala. Not noticing her utter confusion, the human kept talking. "We're scribing a combination of Solomon's seal enhanced with Nordic runes, and we were even able to shoehorn in an Aztec Quetzalcoatl reference! This is going to be epic!" He gestured grandly at the inscriptions.

Fiala stared at him. He looked back at her, and his grin faltered.

"You didn't understand anything I just said, did you?"

She slowly shook her head. His words made no sense.

He stroked his chin for a moment. "Hmm. Alright. How about this: we're setting up a magic ritual to summon all the lightnings and flash fry the Reapers."

She shook her head again.

He ran his hand thought his hair. "Huh. Even simpler, eh? Basically, we're going to cast a magic spell."

She cocked her head and looked at him for a moment. As he was about to smile she shook her head once more.

He sighed. "Ok, let me try this again, slowly. We're drawing a giant symbol on the ground." He looked at her encouragingly.

She nodded.

"Then we're going to wave our hands in the air, and speak many words."

She slowly nodded.

"Lightning will drop from the sky and kill all the bad guys."

She shook her head.

He threw his hands in the air. "Seriously? Not even...? Fine. Just stand and watch. Maybe that will make more sense."

Ten minutes later, when the air willed with electricity and the sky turned into lightning and the husks vaporized into dust, things made even less sense to Fiala.

How was she going to report this?

* * *

_6__th__ day of the Reaper invasion of Earth, Chicago_

Fiala Karalosi dove behind a pile of rubble just as some kind of death beam raked across her position.

She was covered in six days-worth of grime, and exhaustion stretched across her face, but her eyes gleamed with excitement.

She turned and smiled at a small camera drone floating behind her.

"That was close! Reaper forces are getting trigger happy as their advance has ground to a halt here in the human city of Chicago. Despite _two_ Reapers attacking from the east and south of the city, the human forces have managed to slow their progress to a crawl, and the Reapers haven't been able to advance at all in the last four hours!"

She ducked suddenly, and several thundering explosions echoed as the camera shook.

"That may be the signal for the counter attack! Let's see if we can get a word in with some of the valiant defenders."

She slithered through the rubble, but paused as she saw a looming figure through the smoke.

It stepped into visibility. It was a monster. It stood eight feet tall with slavering jaws and cruel jagged claws. Gleaming red eyes peered across the battlefield. Blood covered its maw and chest. Its arms were covered in gore up its shoulders.

She gasped as she saw it.

"Hey, Graves! Graves!"

Fiala dashed over to the monster and tugged at its bloody arm, ignoring the sticky mess. It let her pull it down next to her behind the broken concrete. "Dances-on-Graves, do you have a few moments? It sounds like the counter push is about to start, and the public wants to know your thoughts! What's important to the Crinos on the scene? "

She looked expectantly at the Garou. Behind them her camera drone shifted to a better angle.

An embarrassed rumble came from the giant wolf-man. "Ahhrm, Fiala. Shouldn't you be further back with the civilians? What are you even doing in Chicago?"

She smiled brightly. "Nope! The Earth News Network goes where the story is! Our viewers across the galaxy really want to know what's happening here on earth!"

He opened his jaw, revealing rows of deadly teeth. He started to speak, but paused, listening. He shook his head. "I have to go; the push is going to happen soon, and the mages need some meatshields to keep them from being squished. James is around somewhere, so you know there's going to be lots of collateral damage." He leveled a gore covered finger at her. "Keep your blue tail here _at least_ until all the lightning passes; you don't want to get fried to a crisp, and I'm going to be too busy to save you this time from any stray husks."

With that, he bounded forward, easily clearing the rubble and dashing into the smoke.

Fiala turned to the vid drone. "There you have it folks! Even in the middle of the deathly struggle against the Reapers the human defenders think about protecting all the members of the galaxy! This is Fiala Karalosi of ENN signing off for now."

A peculiar whistling wail built in strength from all around. Static electricity started to spark across the concrete. Fiala snatched her vid drone, tucked it to her stomach and curled into a ball. Covering her head with her left arm, she absentmindedly wiped the gore off her right hand onto her pants. There was a great tearing noise as the entire city forcibly ionized. She closed her eyes and smiled to herself as thousands of lightning bolts repeatedly struck down from the sky, shorting out shields and sizzling husks across Chicago. When this was all over she was going to track Dances-on-Graves down and embrace eternity with him until neither one of them could walk straight for a week.

* * *

"Send in the next attack wave! HIT mark V's to the van, artillery on the left flank."

Thousands of man-shaped robots steadily walked forward, ignoring damage from incoming fire as they relentlessly pushed into the center of the Reaper line

"Why are there so many of these things?"

The wizard shrugged. "Surplus. We got really good at spotting them so the technocracy mothballed the mark V's. The primary storage facility in Kansas alone has almost a ten thousand of them."

Shepard nodded and then paused. "Why do they all look like Arnold Schwarzenegger?"

The wizard smirked. "Everyone believes terminators look like Arnold. Even to this day."

They stood, watching the mark V's grind themselves against the Reaper defenses. After a few minutes one of the generals leaned forward, peering intently at the battle display.

"We have them pinned on the defensive. Roll out the 13s!"

Shepard turned to the mage next to her. "13s?"

He grinned. "Hyper Intelligence Technologies, mark 13. Pure heavy assault class. No good for infiltration, only straight on assault."

Shepard could hear them coming before she could see them. Their shapes appeared out of the dust; bulbous cylinders bristling with weapons.

"EXTERMINATE!"

They crushed through the Reaper lines, unstoppable.

"EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!"

Bolts of energy poured from them. Reaper counterfire vaporized against shimmering shields and impassible armor.

"EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!"

Shepard looked on in horror. "My God, those things are unstoppable! If the technocracy has troops like that, why didn't they ever use them against you guys?"

The mage smirked. "Who knows. They're hilariously ineffective against humans for some reason."


	4. Chapter 4

Destruction cometh; and they shall seek peace, and _there shall be_ none.  
Ezekiel 7:25, Christian Bible

* * *

_The Citadel, Serpent Nebula, Widow system_

3 days after the Reaper invasion began, the turian fleet triumphantly limped through the Citadel mass relay.

60 hours of continuous fighting had scarred the surviving ships, but the Turian Hierarchy was unbroken.

The flagship docked, and Sparatus, resplendent in his Councilor robes, marched triumphantly towards the Council's chambers. He had taken an ill-timed vacation to Palaven just days before the Reaper attack.

As he entered the Council's chambers, Tevos and Valern turned to face him.

Tevos nodded at Sparatus.

"Greetings, Councilor Sparatus. What news do you bring?"

Sparatus's mandibles flared with pride. "The turians prove themselves the greatest military in the galaxy once again with our defeats of the Reapers. What news from the rest of the Council races? Where does the turian war machine need to prove our might next?"

The other two councilors shared looks.

Valern spoke next.

"Both our races faced several Reapers and fared well. But. There has been… disturbing news from Earth."

Sparatus flared one mandible. "So they still have transmission capabilities? The Reapers must not have hit them hard, if at all."

Tevos shook her head. "No. We can confirm that Earth has indeed been attacked by Reapers and in fact continues to be attacked, but somehow the humans are still managing to send out sporadic bursts of communication."

Sparatus bared his needle teeth. "So. Humanity cannot even defeat the small pittance that the Reapers sent their way? A threat so small they still haven't lost communications during the fight, even though it still continues?"

The other two councilors shared another look.

Valern coughed. "Sparatus, how many Reapers did the Hierarchy face?"

Sparatus grinned. "We defeated five. Three at once at the final climax. It was glorious. How many did your races face?"

The other two councilors glanced at each other again.

Tevos spoke next. "The asari defeated two, and the salarians destroyed one, and drove off three. But..."

"Ha!" Sparatus interrupted her. "Truly a great victory for the Council, despite humanity's poor showing."

The other two councilors shared another silent glance.

"Why are you two staring at each other so much?" Sparatus irritably snapped. "Just tell me."

Valern gestured for Tevos to speak. She licked her lips. "As far as we can tell, Earth is under attack from multiple Reapers. Over a hundred, probably. More than ten. At least."

Sparatus started, then shrugged. "Ah yes, Shepard's dark spaces full of Reapers. Until I see the evidence I will dismiss that claim."

Wordlessly, Valern pulled some audio files from his omnitool.

The first message played.

An asari voice played. "This is Fiala Karalosi of the Earth News Network reporting from Montreal." A quiet sob. "Something terrible has happened. A monster, a giant black _thing_ came down on the city. There are bodies everywhere."

There was a jump in time as the recording picked up again later.

"I'm being chased! Something came into the studio and started attacking everyone." Running sounds, panicked breathing. "No! I'm trapped!" Scuffling, the sound of something approaching, and a scream that cut off as the recording ended in wet crunching sounds.

Tevos looked at Sparatus. "Emily Wong of Future Content Corporation news is dead. Before she died she got her hands on a QEC at an Earth university across the continent from Montreal. She reported seeing at least 2 distinct Reapers in the city region there. Other reputable sources across Earth also reported seeing Reapers before communications were cut."

Sparatus was silent for a moment. "All of that was from the beginning of the Reaper invasion." He said slowly. "But you said they are still sending out messages."

Valern nodded. "Yes. Somehow Earth is sending out messages; mostly audio, some text. Many of them are disturbing at best, or sound completely insane."

He queued up another set of audio logs.

A female human voice spoke, gasping. "They've killed my men and now they've killed me. I'm…" the voice took a shaky breath, "holding my guts inside of me with both hands. I'm almost done..." A few breaths passed in silence. Her voice picked up again, softly but gaining volume as she continued. "Resist. This is bigger than my little life, the lives of my men and the lives of the people I was forced to kill. Resist. Humanity demands it! Resist!" Her dying gurgle trailed off and the recording ended.

Valern spoke quietly. "This message came from a local point-to-point based communication radio. Which then leads to the question; how was this transmitted from her radio after she died if she was the last one to die?"

Then next log played.

A calm male voice spoke quickly but clearly. "Citadel station, do you read me? The Reapers are blitzing Earth! We're really taking a pounding. Don't know how much longer we can hold out."

Valern spoke again. "This message repeated variations of this request for assistance every five to ten minutes for over 27 hours. They kept the channel open. We know it's not just a canned speech but an actual 27 hour-long message. Careful analysis of the recording shows not only does the voice fluctuate uniquely during each request, but also there are actual sounds of battle in the background for the entire duration of the call. This message's broadcast station held out for over a day of continuous battle against Reaper forces. We know of no ground station ever built that can withstand assaults of that magnitude, let alone for that period of time.

"We have one more message that bears consideration. This was an encrypted Alliance conversation snippet one of our STC passive listening buoys picked up, by accident. The encryption was… difficult to overcome."

The last message played.

Two unknown male human voices spoke. "When the deep ether exploration fleet gets back here, we'll crush them in a pincer trap against Doissetep and Mus."

"You have an extra fleet? An exploratory fleet? Where is it?"

"En route from mapping the lower umbra."

"The what?"

"The lower umbra. You know, hell."

"…"

The recording ended.

The Citadel Council glanced at each other.

Tevos spoke. "We were just discussing this before you came. There are no relevant records of either 'Doissetep' or 'Mus'. In fact…"

A subtle chime sounded.

A VI appeared. "Councilors, you have an incoming transmission from Admiral Anderson of Earth. Shall I have him hold?"

After a moment of shock, Tevos shook her head. "Put him through immediately."

"As you wish, Councilor."

The display appeared, but was black. No video signal, but they could hear muffled sounds in the background. Strange grinding noises. Static and distortion as Admiral Anderson spoke.

"-sn't an issue yet but we aren't in a position to do anything about it. As it stands we can still hold out for at least two days."

Tevos spoke, "Admiral, we are amazed to hear that you are alive. Can you tell us-"

Anderson's voice continued, cutting Tevos off. "If anyone is left alive on the Citadel, please relay this message to the other races. We all have a chance here, but only if we can all work together in the face of extinction."

Valern lifted his omnitool and glanced at it. "Signal is one way only. They cannot hear us. Pity."

The Council shared looks as they heard the rumbling in the background behind Anderson get louder. The steady thump of artillery fire started, and an air raid siren started blaring.

"Regardless, I have today's casualty numbers." Anderson continued, unconcerned. "We're up from yesterday, which is incredible when you think about the-"

A sudden –**_crack-_** interrupted Anderson, and the audio cut out for a moment. As the signal regained strength, the Council could hear screams and erratic gunfire.

"**WE DEMAND YOUR EXTINCTION.**"

The Council flinched as the Reaper bellow echoed through the connection.

Anderson's voice came back onto the call. "Ahem. Ignore that please. Where was I? Ah yes. Casualties. Quite incredible when you consider-"

"Admiral, I think someone's listening to this from their side!" A young male's voice interrupted the Admiral.

Footsteps approached the audio pickup, getting louder.

Anderson's voice sharpened. "Explain."

"You know how speaking to an empty room feels different from speaking in a room full of people, even if you have your eyes closed? You can feel their eyes on you? Little things like that. Pattern spiders especially are really good at feeling these response vibrations. Iteration X cognition software modeling agrees. Something sentient is listening to this broadcast. Someone from in the Council chambers!"

"Good work son! Citadel Council, this is Admiral Anderson with an update to the siege on Earth. We have-"

The kid interrupted Anderson again. "Sir, I think I can get a two-way connection set up!"

"How? We have no reception. The Reapers made sure of that. All the hardware's gone." Anderson said dryly.

"We can relay a return signal through the internet."

Anderson paused for a moment. "Son, even I know that's bullshit."

Apparently Anderson's disbelief didn't faze the other speaker. "No, seriously. First, they don't have the properly configured system for subspace tunneling, right? We can use virtual hardware emulation to generate the return signal on their end, and broadcast it through the extranet. The tricky part would be connecting it to the internet from there, but between pattern spiders, machine spirits, and a splash of correspondence, it's totally do-able."

Anderson spoke again, slowly. "We don't have any satellites; the Reapers shot them all down. Even if you can configure the return signal, how can you get it connected to the internet? We can't get any external signals from anywhere. We're cut off."

"Uh, did I forget to mention the internet is also a physical place as well? We'll build a receiver, set up a gateway to the internet, and _walk_ the connection out far enough until we can connect it up to the extranet. Or, we could get a Verbena or an Etherite in here and make a portal out of blood or nuclear mercury legos or whatever. Totally do-able."

A deep sigh. "Alright son, go ahead if you think it can be done." A pause. "How long do you think it will take?"

"Meh? Five minutes maybe? Less? Any longer than that, and I won't bother. I'll just bounce the signal off the atmosphere or something. Hey, you were a Council member before, right? As a last ditch backup I'm sure we could make a voodoo doll and forge a sympathetic connection to them."

There was the sound of shuffling feet, and Anderson's murmuring voice could be barely heard as he spoke to himself. "Every time. They get me every time I think I've got this figured out. I'm getting too old for this shit."

Anderson cleared his throat.

"Council, the situation on Earth is dire. We are under constant siege by Reaper forces. Multiple Reaper landings have been detected at nearly every large population center, as well as at military and transit assets. Currently we have been able to slow the Reaper advance across America, Western Europe, and Asia. The Reaper assault in Eastern Europe has been stopped." Anderson paused. "Don't ask how. Seriously."

In the background rose a chorus of howls. There was a series of muffled clunks and crunches. A rippling series of sonic booms pounded through the audio. Voices raised, shouting orders.

Anderson continued over the noise, "We have even begun counter assaults where the Reaper forces have become overextended. Initial attacks have been successful, and intelligence is cautiously optimistic of continued operations."

The council shared a glance. Humanity was throwing a ground counter offensive against the Reapers? And winning?

More screams and orders rose from the background noise.

"They're coming in for another attack run!"

The shriek of grinding metal on metal.

"Quintessence reserves depleted!"

"They're breaking through the right flank! Counter charge! Send in the reserves! Send the Ahroun! Send everything!"

Another voice yelled out from the background. "Two way sound is working now Admiral!"

Anderson paused. "Council members, can you hear me?"

Tevos spoke, "We can hear you Admiral. We don't quite understand, but we can hear you."

Anderson sighed in relief. "Thank goodness. You have no idea how glad I am to hear you are alive, Councilor Tevos. Now, can you tell me-"

"Hey, Admiral?" It was the interrupting youth again.

The Council heard Anderson sigh. Then he sighed again.

"What is it, son?"

"While setting up the audio I ran into some Glass Walkers. We think we can get the video up and running as well, if you like."

"I'm not going to ask how. Yes, please."

Sparatus leaned forward. "Admiral, can you repeat your current status? It sounds like your current position may be too close to the front. Are you in danger?"

"Nonsense Councilor. I-"

Someone screamed from the background. "They're coming up from under the ground!"

With a series of cracking noises, the chittering wails of husks screeched through the audio. The sounds of gunfire and roar of chainsaws filled the room. Screams and yells.

Over the cacophony of noise the Council barely heard someone yelling, "Admiral, we're going to drop a few thousand grenades on our position. I need you to step back now. Please."

"Alright son." Anderson's voice was calm. His footsteps methodically stepped away from the melee. Behind him, the chainsaws started up again, joined by the ripping sounds of grenades continuously going off echoed for over two minutes.

As the wailing of the last husk abruptly tapered off, Anderson's voice came back over the line.

"What were you saying again, Councilor Sparatus?"

Tevos cleared her throat, "Perhaps there's a better time or place to continue this discussion, Admiral?"

"Nonsense, everything is fine on this side, and my schedule is clear now to continue."

The Citadel councilors looked at each other in silence. Whatever was happening on Earth was madness.

Anderson spoke, "As I was saying, Councilor Tevos, can the Citadel spare any resources to assist Earth? We certainly could use some assistance."

Another voice spoke up before Tevos could respond.

"Step back a moment Admiral, let me get the vid feed working." After a few moments, the screen in the Council chambers flickered to life. A tired human face filled the screen. It smiled at the camera then pulled back, revealing Admiral Anderson, and behind him, filling the sky, the rising bulk of a Reaper larger than anything the Council had ever seen.

"Admiral, behind you!" gasped Councilor Tevos.

Immense beams of destruction spread from a great baleful red eye on the Reaper, spiking into the human entrenchments. Gouts of plasma plumed into the sky, rippling explosions striking down the beleaguered human defenders. An endless tide of husks spewed forth beneath the hulking form of the Reaper, leaping towards the now-broken human defenses. The Council was witnessing perhaps the last defense of humanity. Admiral Anderson stood unconcerned facing the camera, his back to the advancing foes.

The Council stared at the scene unfolding before them.

The smoke from the Reaper artillery cleared, revealing strange colored shields gleaming with sigils of blazing light, unbroken.

Forms strode out towards the tide of husks and threw them back. Giant monstrous shapes with teeth and claws, wielding rough blades that glowed with inner light.

**"THE CYCLE CANNOT BE BROK-HRRrnnrnrgnggg**ggnn**"**

As the Reaper bellowed, something struck it too fast to be seen, leaving only a pulsing afterimage. The Reaper stood still for a moment, then slowly started to topple, its baleful gaze dimming.

The Council started to cheer, but as the Reaper fell, it revealed multiple Reapers advancing behind it. Four Reapers strode over the corpse of the fallen Reaper. Artillery fire rippled across the human defense line, and explosions peppered the massive Reapers. Out of the smoke two additional massive Reapers appeared, and the sextet continued to bear down on Anderson's position, intent on grinding the humans into dust.

The Council gaped in horror. Anderson turns around, and shrugs.

"It's just their 3rd assault wave. Shouldn't be too long before we can relocate forward to the next front."

"What."

One of the human defenders yelled out, "Take cover! Solar bombardment incoming!"

There was a shrieking wail that went on for an eternity and Anderson ducked as the view went white. The sound cut out for several seconds, and when the view reappeared, the Reapers were simply GONE.

"Solar... bombardment?" Valern said weakly.

Anderson straightened. "Yes. Like orbital bombardment... but from the sun."

"... I see."

Left unsaid was how humans were lobbing artillery from their sun.

Anderson turned to a nearby tech. "What's the Reaper death count up to now?"

The tech checked his omnitool. "143,586."

Anderson frowned. "Wasn't it higher yesterday?"

The tech shrugged. "We decided not to count anything smaller than a dreadnaught. The small fry were dropping too rapidly so it was skewing our hard numbers, and thus, our force projections."

Sparatus was silent. The Reapers the turians faced were all cruiser sized, or smaller.

Anderson looked back at the Council. "We're killing them faster than they can kill us now, relatively at least. They know this. They're going to try overwhelm us before that. They need to crush us, or we'll stop them all. Every Reaper in the galaxy is being called to Earth. We're holding out for now, but as more and more Reapers arrive…" Anderson shrugged. "We need to stand together. Now more than ever. The Reapers won't stop at Earth. They'll destroy every organic being in the galaxy if we don't find a way to stop them. As leaders of the galaxy the Council needs to unite the races and help us defeat the Reapers, or they'll crush us, and turn on the rest of the galaxy. If we do not hang together, we shall surely hang separately."

Tevos sighed. "The cruel and unfortunate truth is while the Reapers focus on Earth, we can prepare and regroup."

Valern spoke, "We are convening a summit amongst our species. If we can manage to secure our own borders, we may once again consider aiding you."

Tevos nodded solemnly. "I'm sorry Admiral that is the best we can do. We admire your sacrifice, and will not squander this precious chance. Hold firm, we will come."

Anderson face was still. "Tell that to the Spartans."

The call disconnected.

The Council was silent for a few minutes.

"They're… killing the Reapers faster than the Reapers can kill them?"

The other Councilors turn to Sparatus.

Sparatus was grey, mandibles slack. "I've never seen anything like that before. Why didn't they release any of this madness on us at Shanxi? We picked a fight with them," Sparatus muttered, rocking back and forth. "I can't believe we picked a fight with them. What were we thinking, picking a fight with humanity? It must be our mother's faults. They must have dropped us on our heads when we were fledglings…"

Valern turned to Tevos. "I'll analyze these recordings for any clues. Meanwhile, since Sparatus looks broken, it's up to you to start gathering up the strength of the galaxy."

Tevos and Valern turned and left, leaving Sparatus in the middle of the Council chambers.

Sparatus stared blankly at the walls, muttering to himself.

"How were they doing all of that? What technological sorcery do they possess?"

Oh Sparatus, if only you knew.

* * *

_6 hours ago, Eastern Europe_

When the invading forces reached Transylvania, the Reaper invasion was crushed in an instant. Almost a billion husks across Eastern Europe simultaneously froze, then all spoke in the same gurgling voice before melting into organic slush, "**_ALL FLESH IS TZIMISCE_**." Their skin split like to release a larger, slimy, chitinous creature part ape, part insect, part reptile and all nightmare. Their bodies twitched, swelled and churned as eyes, mouths, tentacles and other organs erupted from their flesh and sank back in again. Amid all the changes, the husks laughed a deep, ugly laugh; mirrored voices rising in a chorus of horror.

All the writhing husk-flesh pooled together, forming a twisted organic mockery of a Reaper. The Reaper- vampire shell of Tzimisce then leapt onto the nearest Reaper and began to feed.


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: I primarily play Mage, but I figured I needed to spread the destruction around a little. Hence this chapter. _

* * *

Babylon is fallen, is fallen; and all the graven images of her gods he hath broken unto the ground.  
Isaiah 21:9, Christian Bible

* * *

**2 hours after the Reaper assault began, 1,847 Reapers on Earth**

Earth was burning. Military bases and centers of political control were smoldering pits or ruins. All human satellites were destroyed. Roads were shattered, preventing humans from escaping the husk spawning grounds cities had become. Armies were defeated, vaporized against inhuman technology. The Alliance strength was broken.

Yet somehow, messages of strength and resistance still went out. Local broadcasts directing resisting humans to caches of weapons and rally points were on every form of media. People's home pages suddenly changed to Internet pages describing how to make explosives out of household chemicals and mod omnitools to form blades or hack shields. New troops appeared literally out of thin air, bolstering the beleaguered Alliance troops.

And Reapers poured onto Earth.

* * *

**20 hours after the Reaper assault began, 12,645 Reapers on Earth**

While humanity was attempting to resist the Reaper advance with some success, the majority of Reapers were whelming everything in their path. Whole cities burned, their populations crucified on dragon's teeth. Roads lined with teeth stretched for miles, stadiums bristled like forests of black spikes. The howling of husks filled the night.

The Reaper forces swept south down the eastern seaboard of America, crushing through New Jersey and swelling its ranks as they went.

This stopped when the Reaper advance reached Baltimore.

The sun darkened as black clouds suddenly filled the sky. An unnatural shadow passed in front of the Reaper advance.

However, Reapers do not fear meteorological phenomena, and the husks advanced into the sudden shadows without pause. The leading edge of the husk army was then thrown back, in pieces. Bloody limbs flew out of the darkness.

Dark and twisted figures melted out of nothingness to stand before the Reaper and its forces.

The towering Reaper noted the twisted limbs and festering appearance of the flesh facing its synthetically superior troops. The organics were distastefully spread haphazardly across the city limits, opposed to its own forces pleasingly deployed in efficient formations. Its great red eye noted a figure stepping forward, taller than the other pitiful meat-sacks that dared stand in its way. A strange human female wearing strips of black leather, standing almost twice the normative size of the median adult human female height. The Reaper spent a moment reviewing and cataloging the female's ensemble. Tacky décolleté. No color coordination. Awkwardly snug around the torso. It made her look fat. Fatty fat meat. Disgusting.

The woman threw her head back and screamed a challenge at the Reaper. The Reaper shuddered at the image of the human's flapping lips making meat sounds by squirting air through its meat. Revolting. The Reaper obliged the puny human by responding with a blast of beautiful magnetohydrodynamic energy to her face. The Reaper was surprised when instead of instantly bursting into charged particles and an artistic pattern of soot, the woman only seemed to laugh. Unflattering green fire shimmered into existence in a corona around her, and she leapt into the air, flying directly at the Reaper's head… from a kilometer away. As she flew, behind and below her, her twisted army charged the defenseless husks.

Zhyzhak the chosen of the Green Dragon _will_ crush the last Gaian King under her heel in the final battles. She will not let anyone else seize her destiny.

The Black Spiral had come to dance.

* * *

**40 hours after the Reaper assault began, 184,982 Reapers on Earth**

California was a death trap. Hundreds of Reapers had landed here, converging and grinding through all human defenses.

After hours of desperate fighting, shattered remnants of Alliance troops, obstinate resistance fighters, and refugees gathered at Sequoia National Forest. Beneath the tallest trees in the world, they prepared their last stand. They had already thrown back several waves of husks, but they could now see the towering silhouettes of several dozen Reapers steadily advancing towards them, glowing eyes piercing the darkness. Heralds and guides of destruction, shepherding the milling husks towards the desperate living.

Behind barricades and inside hastily dug trenches, grim faced men and women gripped rifles, homemade melee weapons, and hastily programmed omnitools. Crying children huddled around giant trees, fingers digging into the ancient bark. The sun had long set, and the gibbous moon rose, a pale shining disk.

The wind stilled.

The next wave of husks came into view.

The forest fell silent.

The husks charged.

Out of the woods strode figures of legend. Barely clothed, carrying rough blades of silver wrapped in scraps of leather. Wolves crept at their sides, growling low in their throats as they stared at the tainted abominations striding forward.

The human defenders felt hope stir as the wolves and men stepped up and stood with them, holding the line.

The husks swarmed up the barricades, Reapers spat death beams from burning eyes.

Humans died.

Giant human-wolf death machines threshed husks left and right, only to be burnt to cinders by Reaper judgment.

Thundering impacts.

The groaning forest, energy beams cutting through trees, crashing them to the ground.

Desperate fighting as the human defense line bends but not quite collapses; overwhelmed.

Prayers of salvation, blood offered in sacrifice. Burning willpower spent.

A figure appeared, rising to heed the call of her children.

A statuesque middle-aged woman. Her nude form strong and Her eyes filled with staggering power. She carried the weapons of all the elements in Her hands, and death has no touch on upon Her.

She strode forward to meet the Reapers, and they stumbled to a halt as she approached.

Behind her was the immense shadow presence of a serpent the size of the world. Pangaea personified. The world snake, the elder serpent.

Beams of force leapt at her only to wither and die before reaching her.

Her stomps caused the earth to shake, throwing all the husks to the ground without shaking any humans. Her punches crushed Reapers, leaving them crumpled wrecks. Her breath swept her enemies before her, and her voice was thunder, cracking their limbs and liquefying their organs.

The spirits rise to defend their mother.

* * *

**60 hours after the Reaper assault began, 591,091 Reapers on Earth**

Hard light projections of maps lit the bunker, illuminating various sub-groups worked on coordinating different aspects of bringing war to the Reapers across the world.

"Alright everybody, quiet down!"

The underground bunker quieted, and the ad hoc defenders of Earth began to plan the next step of their counter offensive.

Today's focus was retaking Detroit.

"We have some important information from our scouts and…diviners."

The Alliance officer stiffly nodded at the mage dressed in snazzy blue jeans and a tee shirt that proudly boasted the slogan, 'A wizard did it'.

The mage leaned forward. "Bad news. We can't use our basic strategy of 'murder it all with lightning' this time. They're learning; they've spread apart and hardened their defenses." Disappointed sighs and grumbles came from the audience. "So we need to think of a new plan, preferably one that they can't easily figure out answers to."

An Alliance lieutenant gestured at the tactical map of Detroit.

"Well, let's think about what local resources we have we can use. What kind of unique advantages can we muster here in Detroit?" He almost managed to keep a straight face, just a small twitch of a smile appearing momentarily.

Snickers.

A voice called out, "Abandoned factories?"

There were a few snorts.

More heckling from the audience.

"Shattered glass? Boarded up windows?"

"Wild dogs? Gas stations without pumps?"

The mage smiled. An evil smile. "Abandoned cars."

Four hours later, 3,243,582 junked cars fell out of thin air and simultaneously crushed each of the 3,243,582 husks in the city.

* * *

**80 hours after the Reaper assault began, 1,787,455 Reapers on Earth**

The Weaver had driven the Wyrm mad. But madness can be cured.

80 hours after the Reaping of Earth began the Children of Gaia finished their desperate 72 consecutive hour rite and purified the Worm. Difficulty 10. 10,000 successes. 30,000 gnosis permanently offered up.

Everyone on Earth felt a roar of defiance deep in their bones, and knew with cold certainty that this roar echoes throughout all reality.

The Weaver's Pattern Web folded open on its own, allowing the Wyrm to rise unfettered.

The Beast-of-War cometh. Cahlash. Balancer and arbiter of reality. Guardian of the Tellurian. Destruction of all things. Cleanser. Rectifier.

The Reaper's endless Cycle of Extinction is over.


	6. Chapter 6

_AN: I have won at being a fanfiction writer. When authors I follow, follow my stories? That's victory beyond anything I could have conceived. Thank you all for reading my scribbles. On with the story!_

It will be as though a man fled from a lion only to meet a bear, as though he entered his house and rested his hand on the wall only to have a snake bite him.  
Amos 5:19, Christian Bible

* * *

Across Citadel space, the might of the Turian Hierarchy gathered. Ships joined into fleets, seamlessly integrating into a single cohesive force, ready to be wielded by their commander as a cosmic scalpel; slicing with deadly precision into their foes.

Such is the military potence of turians.

As the fleets gathered, logistics and supply chains were decided, organized, and connected to the turian's existing economic and manufacturing structures across multiple worlds. Corporations, shipping companies, and even raw materials manufacturing were all notified and coordinated with to provide the Hierarchy's ships the tools and fuel they needed to maintain the largest offensive in their history.

Such is the duty of turians. Every turian is part of the greatness of the Hierarchy. Even those not present in warships feel the comradery of soldiers. They also serve who only stand and wait.

Or at least that is how it is supposed to be.

Of course there were delays. Of course there was petty bickering and political blame games. Their volus connections were completely unresponsive for some reason. Systems were backlogged with conflicting priorities. Emergency war seizures were enacted. Stock markets crashed. Non-turians ran wild in the streets, panicking.

But despite this, the majority of the fleet was ready to depart on offensive maneuvers within two days of the turians receiving the message of the Reaper invasion of Earth.

Truly a magnificent result, a testament to their prowess.

General Minin Resvirix stood on the command deck of the dreadnaught, _Indomitable Spirit_. Laid out before him he could see the glowing engines of the ships in his command. Points of light, they shone; the true jewels of the Hierarchy. _He_ was the heart of the First fleet, his decisions would dictate the lives of not only his men but also the civilians that depended on the turians to shield them from harm. He could feel the countless turians stretching behind him into history, the honor and duty of his role stamping him with both weight and strength.

He opened the com channel to every ship in the fleet. In the background the turian imperial anthem, "Die for the Cause" played softly. He stood at attention, and spoke.

"I am General Resvirix. You are all part of the First fleet. We are going to go to Earth and bring the might of the Turian Hierarchy upon the Reapers there. In the sol system, humanity is fighting the greatest battle of the ages. All the ages. The Hierarchy has never flinched from our duty. We go to not only extract vengeance against the Reapers for their own attacks on us, but also to save humanity. For we are the military arm of the Citadel! We are the keepers of the peace! Palaven confides that every turian will do their duty. Advance!"

He ended his speech with his hand thrust out, gesturing for the fleet to proceed through the Mass Relay. Resvirix waited as the gate spun up, and waited, and waited.

"What's taking so long?" he snapped at his navigations officer.

The helpless tech shrugged. "We're getting a strange response from the gate: 'Waiting for other. Your position in queue is 1,817,983.'". The tech frowned. "Now it's saying 'Waiting for other. Your position in queue is 2,133,172.' The number is increasing!"

The general was quiet for a moment, then spoke softly. "The Reapers must have built the Mass Relays. So they have administrative access. No. If they did, they would just lock down all non-Reaper travel. Instead, they have priority access. They're adding themselves to the front of the queue! But who's ever heard about a single location having so many ships travelling to it that it's caused a queue to form…"

His fleet surrounded him, bristling with impotent turian might as he could only watch as the number of Reapers ahead of him in the queue increased.

2,382,224. 2,379,872. 2,377,182.

2,519,993. 2,518,914, 2,517,120.

2,784,102. 2,784,101. 2,784,100.

3,001,819.

"Spirits help humanity."

* * *

The news that his fleets were stuck waiting in line while the Reapers cut in front of them, made Councilor Sparatus reach for his liquor cabinet. He grabbed a bottle of Horosk. Then he grabbed another, just in case.

* * *

The two person, weaponless, stealth STG ship helplessly watched the battle unfold around Earth.

Since the Mass effect gate was constantly spewing out Reapers, they were stuck here, unable to escape. Unable to assist humanity, because if they did they would be discovered and instantly slain. Floating in space, seeing the entire Reaper invasion come to a crashing halt against Earth. A flaming, exploding, pyrotechnic halt.

Stuck watching.

Recording.

And eating popcorn.

"So this is what humans mean when they refer to a blockbuster."

"Pass the popcorn."

"Here you go. Don't forget this; creamed animal lactation, melted. With sodium chloride. It's delicious."

"Ah yes."

They passed several minutes in enjoyable silence. Watching Reapers explode never got stale.

A console chirped, and one of the salarians glanced at his omnitool.

"Hey Tolan. I have good news, bad news and great news. More good news, bad news and great news. And further good news, bad news and great news."

Lieutenant Tolan sighed. "Jooram. There's only the two of us here. You don't have to drama it up."

Jooram Mas shrugged. "We're the only ones here. Humor me."

"Ok. What's the bad news, more bad news, and even more bad news?"

"Bad news? Our attempts to hack the multitude of earth com channels were instantly stopped and detected. More bad news? By at least three distinct factions. Even more bad news? In a manner that makes me question whether or not all our previous attempts to hack into Earth channels have ever been successful, or if we were let in. Very paranoid thoughts."

Tolan blinked. "Can you expand on that?"

Jooram leaned back. "So we just ran the default STG protocols and started to hack into what we already infiltrated. Glacial Creep. You know, the slow, passive, stealth hack program. First time hacking into Earth since the Reapers showed up, and things got crazy. We normally expect to get in to the unencrypted channels, get through some of the secure layers that haven't been updated since our last attempts, and not get into the rest. Even if Earth security across the board was updated, we'd at least just fail to get in. But that's not what happened."

He munched on some more popcorn.

"We're discovered. Instantly. Multiple times. Even on the unencrypted stuff. You don't develop that kind of security overnight. So it makes me think that they've had this capacity for a while, and just never revealed it until now. Because reasons."

Tolan closed his eyes and massaged his forehead. "STG command will NOT like that. I don't like that. I can't think of anyone who likes that thought. Besides whomever has this kind of security. They're probably laughing into their faces at all of us. I know I would, if I had that power. If they have that kind of security, they've also got the same kind of espionage. They probably own every secret as well. Every secret, ever. Everything the STG has at least. Probably even the Shadow Broker's information. Maybe they ARE the Shadow Broker. And you say there were three factions?"

This was pretty horrifying to contemplate, but Tolan didn't get into STG for being quick to panic. Plus, watching Reapers get destroyed was very relaxing.

Even from this distance, direct beams of light from the sun could easily be seen frying Reapers like insects through a magnifying app. It took top end sensing equipment to see the directed gravitational pulses imploding Reapers, and beyond cutting edge particle detectors to notice, let alone interpret the strange and charged particles causing the de-tessellation of Reaper matter. Tolan didn't even know that de-tessellation was possible until now.

Luckily, the STG had such sensors, and could easily render the Reaper ship as it disintegrated, in all its colorful splendor.

Even more luckily, the STG ship had an immense ability to record such sensory data. In high definition.

"What's the good news, then?"

Jooram said, "All three factions let us in anyway, after they confirmed our identity as legitimate STG. They did this by confirming our IDs, our ship's registration ID, and matching that to our supervisor's FOC. Independently."

Tolan scowled. "That's terrible news! It confirms that they all can enter STG resources with impunity. And they can drill down to minute details like our direct supervisor's force organization chart? So quickly? How is this good news?"

Jooram smiled. "After confirming our identity, they gave us access to everything on Earth. Well, not their super-secret, shadow faction data. But all military channels. All civilian contacts. All encryption keys."

"Why? Why would they do this?"

"Obviously it doesn't matter anymore. And with their total control of information they can just re-encrypt it all whenever they feel like it. Or delete it directly from our databanks. But the reason why they're giving us this access is simple." Jooram leaned forward and looked steadily at Tolan. "They want us to send it out to the STG."

"What? How do they expect us to do that?"

Jooram smiled even wider. "That's the great news. They have a secure channel out already; they used it to verify our STG credentials. They're going to give us access to that as well. They want to use us as a broadcasting station to get the data from the battle out to the rest of the galaxy. They want us to send out our sensor data as well as their comm channel info."

"That's excellent. When can we get this started?"

"That's the rest of the great news. It's already done. All we need to do is sit back, and make sure we don't get caught up in the action." Jooram gestured out at the epic battle filling the solar system. "More popcorn?"

* * *

It's no secret that the Salarians have an entire branch of their military dedicated to covert operations, intelligence, and espionage. It's a badly kept secret that the Special Tasks Group is basically _all_ of the salarians military. Almost every salarian either was in STG, has family in STG, knows someone who was in STG, or knows someone who knows someone who was in STG.

So when live streaming, high definition data of the siege of Earth appeared through multiple STG channels, basically every single salarian gained access to it. It wasn't just a single stream either. Comm channel data from across the entire Earth was appearing in the STG database. There was too much to handle through normal STG resources, so the STG reactivated retired members and hired additional salarians as data analysts. This just gave many salarians an excuse to watch the data.

Of course, there was no official announcements. However, all of a sudden, salarian productivity across all sectors dropped dramatically. Salarians were sneaking peeks at the live feeds during work. Vacation time was used in record amounts. Salarians would get together and discuss the fighting, highlighting their favorite parts of the Earth resistance, and endlessly debating the strange 'magic' that Earth was seemingly throwing about.

Basically, the salarians discovered reality television. All salarians. At once.

They weren't going to be helpful anytime soon.

* * *

Councilor Sparatus leaned back in his chair and dialed the volus embassy.

Volus businesses across citadel space were refusing to enter into enticing business contracts to fund the war against the Reapers. This behavior was completely incomprehensible. Why were the volus rejecting such lucrative deals? Sparatus needed to find out what was happening, but even though the volus embassy was just a few corridors down he preferred to have all contact with the volus ambassador via vid instead of face to face. As the VI was opening up communications, Sparatus opened up solitaire on his omnitool.

"Councilor Sparatus. *ksssshk* The proletariat volus *ksssshk* greet our *ksssshk* turian masters."

Sparatus flared his mandibles slightly at the strange greeting, but shrugged internally. He only ever paid partial attention when the volus spoke; their rebreathing noises always made his attention wander. Solitaire was a necessity to get through any meetings with the volus.

"Ambassador Din Korlack. Greetings from the Turian Hierarchy. I called you because I have received strange reports of volus declining business deals and contracts we need to wage war against the Reapers."

"The advent *ksssshk* of the Reapers *ksssshk* has shown us that *ksssshk* galactic social and political polity *ksssshk* have been subtly *ksssshk* guided by their influence *ksssshk* to make us weak. *ksssshk* We have reviewed *ksssshk* our history *ksssshk* and found several *ksssshk* key moments *ksssshk* where we see *ksssshk* interference *ksssshk* in our development. *ksssshk* We are realigning ourselves *ksssshk* to go against *ksssshk* the Reaper path *ksssshk* and are rediscovering *ksssshk* ourselves as true *ksssshk* proletariat *ksssshk* *ksssshk* *ksssshk*."

"What?" Sparatus paused, eyes leaving his game of solitaire. He glanced at the volus and realized that it was wearing a hat. A fuzzy hat with a red star on it.

"We have found much similarity *ksssshk* in our new path *ksssshk* with a pivotal part *ksssshk* of the human paradigm *ksssshk* once known as *ksssshk* communism. *ksssshk* All business is at a halt *ksssshk* until further notice. *ksssshk* After we realign ourselves *ksssshk* to the true nature denied us, *ksssshk* we will reopen negotiation *ksssshk* with the bourgeoisie Hierarchy."

The volus ominously closed the channel.

Sparatus drained his bottle of Horosk, and reached under his desk for another drink.

* * *

Communications to Tuchanka were always shoddy at best. With the current state of affairs, the only form of contact Tevos had left to her was short bursts of written data. No video. No audio. Just words, limited to 140 characters per message.

-UWrx has joined the channel-

TheBigT: Wrex, we need your help

UWrx: council comes to Krogan asking for help again? No. Hell no.

TheBigT: we really need your help. Reapers will kill everything. We all have to join together or everyone will die. We have to fight as one or everyo

UWrx: die in a fire

TheBigT: without you the entire galaxy will die

UWrx: it's like an exact repeat of the Rachni wars. No

TheBigT: it's the greatest fight ever. Prove your Krogan valor

UWrx: so we fight after they kill you all first. Even more glory that way

TheBigT: we will reward you beyond your imagination

UWrx: Will you give us the same "reward" as before? A double genophage?!

UWrx: wait

UWrx: weren't you in the diplomatic corps a few hundred years ago?

UWrx: goddam you're using the exact same template you used before to get us to fight the Rachni!

TheBigT: nuh uh

UWrx: I'm looking at the transcript now. this is offensive. Racially offensive. I'm actually hurt.

UWrx: Get out of here. Leave me alone. I'm busy

TheBigT: what are you doing?

UWrx: imma gonna go now. AFK preparing to go to war.

TheBigT: against who?

UWrx: insensitive pyjaks who want my people wiped out.

TheBigT: what?

\- UWrx has left the channel-

TheBigT: Wrex?

TheBigT: Shits.

-Alert: TheBigT has received a warning for language. Two more infractions will result in being banned-


	7. Chapter 7

Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man.  
Genesis 9:6, Christian Bible

* * *

"Welcome back to radio free earth! Resist! Humanity demands it. Resist! First, a quick news update. It is now 68 hours into the fight for reality. Reaper forces are sweeping west through America. Expect heavy fighting up and down the Mississippi river, with gusts of air bombing around the greater Chicago metropolitan area. The Reaper forces have consolidated their hold on Western Europe, and are now sweeping east. Reapologists predict overwhelming forces heading towards Greece. There's a lot of turbulence to the north, however; Reaper forces are bogging down in Russia. Looks like they made the cardinal mistake of fighting a land war in Asia. Hold tight folks, it's nowhere close to GG yet.

"Now a word from one of our sponsors, the Zombie Defense League. Fire! Remember to always use fire! If it's good enough to kill, it's good enough to kill it with fire. If you're going to die, die in a fire. That way you won't come back as a zombie."

"Our current story for today is proper targeting locations and weak points on husks. If you know what you're doing, you can kill them with a spoon! That way it hurts more. Next we'll have an expert discuss building stealth fetishes with materials found in your kitchen, but now on to husk weaknesses…"

* * *

_82 hours after Reaper invasion, final assault on last Reaper invasion forces in America. _

Commander Shepard and Admiral Anderson sat around a small table, quickly eating MREs.

The planning for the final assault to wipe out the last Reaper landing forces in North America was over, and the assault would begin in a few minutes. Shepard and Anderson were taking a few moments to eat, and figure out the next mission for the Normandy.

"We can send the Normandy out to sabotage the Relay."

Anderson shook his head. "No. While the Normandy can escape detection again as it leaves Earth," he inclined his head towards Shepard, who nodded in acknowledgement, "there's no way it can reach the Relay undetected. Plus, how can we sabotage the Relay? We still don't have a deep enough knowledge of how they work to do subtle damage, and an explosion may not be strong enough to work. It took crashing an asteroid into the Relay at Aratoht for you to destroy it. I don't know if we have anything easily available with that magnitude that the Reaper's won't be able to detect before we can get it to the Relay."

They sat in comfortable silence, thinking and eating.

Shepard frowned, tone pensive. "Let me ask you a quick question about this…magic."

Anderson leaned back. "What do you want to know? And why are you asking me, instead of a mage?"

Shepard shrugged. "You've got the most experience among the Alliance in dealing with magic. Also, they're a bit…." She rotated her hand and shrugged. "They're a bit mad, you know?"

Anderson nodded in agreement. "Yes. I understand. I understand completely. So what do you want to know?"

"The way I understand it, the more coincidences, symbology, communal beliefs, history, handwaving, bullshit, technobabble, props, background music, bling, numerology, and faith, the easier magic becomes."

Anderson nodded. "That's my understanding as well. Basically anything can help. The more things, the better. The stronger the connection the better as well. Why do you ask?"

"Well. We're going to be looking to take back Europe next, attacking into entrenched Reaper positions. So we should try to make our assault as magically superior as possible." Shepard nodded to herself. "Do you think we can insert the Normandy into Western Europe?"

Anderson blinked. "As a stealth insertion, yes. As part of the assault? Maybe. Why?"

Shepard was silent, looking at a calendar app on her omnitool.

After a few moments, she spoke slowly. "You know, the 6th of June this year will _also_ be a Tuesday. Just saying."

Admiral Anderson's head rose. He quirked an eyebrow at her.

"What?"

She looked up, and repeated. "Tuesday. 6th of June. Normandy. Invading an entrenched evil empire."

He stared at her, then slowly smiled. "Operation Overlord."

They grinned at each other.

"What a coincidence." Magic at its best.

Shepard snickered. "Does this mean we get to call the Reapers Space Nazis?" She looked back down at her omnitool. "Too bad it won't be a full moon this year, though. That's on June first. Maybe it'll be close enough to count."

Anderson shrugged, leaning back in his chair. "Meh. We'll just ask the Garou to drive the moon around so it can be full that night."

* * *

The Alliance liaison scratched his head. "So how exactly does this work?"

The tactical team leader was lifting a bandana to his head. He paused and glanced at the Alliance officer. He lowered the bandana.

"Ok." He pointed at himself, and his team. "Mages actively change reality based on belief and will. With me so far?" The Alliance officer nodded. "It's not just mages. Humans believe things all the time. And if enough humanity believes something, it gains truth. But there's more. Belief starts reinforcing itself. For example, what's the credo of the Marines?"

"Semper Fi."

"Right. Always faithful. I'm sure there have been corrupt marines before. But the more faithful Marines are, the more people believe in Marines, which in turn makes them more faithful."

The Alliance officer thought for a second, then nodded. "Ok, I think I get that. But how does belief reinforcement apply to this?" He gestured around him to the tactical team suiting up.

The team leader smiled. "It's not just reinforcement. The next principle is sympathy. By making ourselves similar to something, we can tap into beliefs about it."

He glanced at the blank look on the officer's face, and sighed. "Look, we're tactical recon. It's what we do. Sure, Spectres do it also; it's in their name after all. Special Tactics and Reconnaissance." He tied the wide bandana on, covering his entire forehead. He carefully adjusted it to align just over his eyebrows. He gestured at his uniform. "But now, what's the first thing you think of when I say..." He deepened his voice slightly, "Tactical. Espionage. Action." He glanced at the mirror, nodding at his reflection.

The Alliance officer paused, then grudgingly nodded.

The tac team lead nodded. "See? It goes beyond beliefs. You thought it. You _know_. You can have an opinion about it; you may disagree. You may not think it is true, but the connection exists. Undeniably. That's what we're tapping into." He turned to face the officer, letting the trailing cloth of his bandana fall behind him. "It's why the Technocracy made their HIT mark 13's look like Daleks. Hideously effective against aliens. Hilariously ineffective against humans. It's why the Akashic Brotherhood dresses like Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris. It's why cultural memes have been fought over for all of human history."

The tactical team leader turned. He spot-checked his team, and nodded in approval.

"Infiltration team Solid; begin operation Snake Eater!" As one, the tactical espionage team crouched down and pulled large cardboard boxes over their heads, completely covering themselves. They scuttled forward.

The Reapers never saw them coming. The Reapers never saw them pass through their lines. The Reapers never saw them perform their mission. The Reapers never saw them leave.

* * *

Omake:

"Alright team! Focus up! Time to get in the game!"

The team clustered together, then lowered their heads.

There was a moment of silence.

The team leader raised his head and spoke. "Snake."

The 2IC raised her head. "Snake?"

The rest of the team raised their heads, and everyone bellowed, "Snaaaaaaake!"

* * *

Double Omake:

"This is the one part I hate." He grimaced as he stuck a pack of cigarettes in a bag and swallowed it.


	8. Chapter 8

"And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up. And they went down alive into the pit, and the earth closed upon them, and they perished."  
Numbers 16:32-33, Christian Bible

* * *

"Thank you for listening to radio free earth! Resist! Humanity demands it. Resist! Our top story today is D-Day; I'm sure all our listeners have heard the news that the Alliance is preparing to launch a daring naval assault onto hardened Reaper positions in Northern France. Our hearts and quintessence goes out to our troops.

"On to today's forecast. Reapologists predict harsh conflicts to the American north as Reapers fall back into entrenchments in Canada. As the conflict in space escalates, beware falling asteroids and the crushed ruins of our foes falling to the surface. Remember, gravity doesn't care if you believe in it, and gravity always has the right of way!

"Now a word from one of our sponsors; the Stabbing Awareness Group! When it comes to armed conflict, tragically many victims forget to stab their opponents. Over 75 percent of those who forget to stab are thusly beaten in the ensuing melee. Remember to stab your foes! There are many kinds of stabs, find the right one for you! Backstabbing from sneak attack is classic, and is still the number one choice for stab masters. However, groin-stabbing and face-stabbing are both super effective! Don't think that stabbings are just for knives, either; knees, baseball bats and bullets all make great stabbing devices. Proper stabbing begins in your thoughts, and ends in their brains. Stab quickly, stab often!

* * *

_The Pyrenees Mountains, Southern France. T-Minus 3 days to D-Day_

Two Reaper destroyers trudged through the Pyrenees Mountains in southern France. The smallest Reaper class normally stood only 150 feet high and the Reaper in front was crouched even lower, glowing red eye almost pressed to the ground, scanning the earth in front as they walked through the rocky terrain. The second Reaper lagged slightly behind, eye twitching behind and around them as they moved.

The first Reaper pointed down at the nigh-invisible wavy scrapes on the rocks. "Look at these Reaper tracks. Why wasn't Definitive-Ill-fortuitous-Anagnorisis flying? This makes no sense. The trail is so faint I can barely follow it. I have to crawl around in the dust, like a filthy organic."

Staring back the way they came, the second Reaper spoke. "I've got a bad feeling about this."

The first Reaper didn't even bother looking up to reply as it carefully followed the trail further into the mountains. "Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors, you always say that. I'm telling you, this is a waste of time. There is no way for Definitive-Ill-fortuitous-Anagnorisis to have disappeared in these mountains. They're made of rocks, not quantum strata. He must be somewhere else."

Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors shrugged its tentacles as it continued to look around cautiously. "What makes you think we're important enough for anyone to care what we have to say? No, it's always 'We've been doing this for millennia longer than you have.' 'Get out of here, the cycle is fine the way it is. Don't bother me.' 'Where's my slippers. Get me my slippers.' Face it, In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail, we're small-fry. That's why we're out here slogging through the background instead of Reaping."

"I thought it was because Towering-Resplendency doesn't like us Exact-group types and likes giving us shit-detail."

"Well yeah, that too. But hey, even Harbinger was once just Harbinger-of-the-Immutable-Certainty-of-Organic-Superfluousness. Think of this as an opportunity. Maybe we'll find a secret human Reaper-trap, save Definitive-Ill-fortuitous-Anagnorisis, and get promoted to 4-name-states."

In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail unbent, and turned to look at Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors. "You really think so?"

Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors deflated. "Absolutely not. If it were a trap, what makes you think a couple of 5-names like us could escape when Definitive-Ill-fortuitous-Anagnorisis couldn't?"

As In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail started to bend down to the trail again, Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors froze. "What was that?" Its eye rapidly flicked back and forth.

In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail bent its limbs into frowning shapes. "Dude, that's not funny. It wasn't funny the first time, and it's still not funny now. Stop messing with me. We both know you didn't see anything strange."

Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors slowly rotated in a circle. "No. Seriously, I know I saw something this time. Here's the timestamped memory-record."

In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail paused as it received the vid recording. "What? I don't see… wait. That flicker? The mountain?"

They both turned to look at the mountain in question. It was a rather plain looking; part of the series of ridges that made up the Pyrenees. A sparse covering of vegetation covering a roughly shaped mound of assorted stone. It looked exceedingly uninteresting.

After a long minute of unmoving silence, In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail shrugged. "There is absolutely nothing special about that mound of dirt and rock."

"Exactly! And you don't find that suspicious?!"

Groaning, In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail bent down again to follow the trail deeper into the mountains.

Despite his jumpy partner, there _was_ something that felt off about this place. Not even 100 meters further up the pass, he paused. There was a quiet grinding noise; like a large amount of stone was slowly shifting… In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail suddenly whirled around. "What was that noise? Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors, was that you?"

Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors was frozen, eye darting back and forth. "No. It wasn't me. I heard it too."

The two of them huddled closer, pressed back-to-back as they frantically scanned their environment for anything suspicious. Processing power was dumped into furiously churning search algorithms. Neither of them noticed the mud-caked tentacles rising up from the path around them, floating like dangling nooses.

The tentacles struck; the two Reapers were jerked backwards and down, into a hidden trench by the path, squealing electronic wails of fear.

"01010!01010!100!1110110111!001010011111111111!"  
"0101010101!11010!001!000010!10!0111!11010101111"

"QUIET YOU FOOLS!" an intense bellow of command only a few decibels loud, drilled directly into their auditory sensors. The two Reapers froze, flailing tentacles pulled tight against their bound forms. They turned their eyes slowly to their captor.

It was a lumbering mound of mud and clay, covered in shrubbery. A baleful red eye glimmered beneath wood and leaves, piercing into their synthetic cores. A twisted, organic reflection of a Reaper. A Reaper-zombie; a shambling un-synthetic version of a Reaper That Should Never Be.

Immediately, the two Reapers began screaming and flailing again, sound and movement muffled by the large tentacles holding them in place.

"01010!01010!100!1110110111!001010011111111111!10101010111100000101101"  
"0101010101!11010!001!000010!10!0111!1101010111110101!0101010101111000!0"

"DESIST" Once again, the command blasted into the two small Reapers, who froze once more.

There was a long pause, then In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail restarted its vocal processing.

"Is… is that you, Definitive Ill-fortuitous Anagnorisis?"

The mound of mud and sticks convulsively jerked its body in acknowledgement.

In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail and Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors transferred bits of data to each other, emoting horror and dismay.

"What are… why are you covered in planetary filth?"

Definitive Ill-fortuitous Anagnorisis pulled them further down into the ditch, and drew their sensory suites closer to his. "QUIET YOU FOOLS. IT WILL HEAR YOU."

The three Reapers huddled deeper, listening. The grinding sound in the background was getting stronger.

It sounded like something immense, trying to be stealthy.

In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail reviewed his memory logs. "Hey! We didn't notice your tentacles because they're covered in dirt and mud! That stopped most forms of infrared and other scans from detecting you."

"YES. THE MUD OBSCURES MOST FORMS OF DETECTION, AND HAS KEPT IT FROM FINDING ME SO FAR. "

"It?"

"YES. IT KILLED ALL THE OTHER REAPERS HERE. I ONLY LIVED BECAUSE I FELL IN THE MUD. IT PASSED ME BY. NOW IT STALKS ME. IT KNOWS WE ARE HERE SOMEWHERE."

"What is it?"

"A MONSTER THAT DEVOURS EVERYTHING IN ITS PATH."

"A Reaper-killing monster?! You… you mean, Shepard?"

Unseen, a mountain crept slowly down the path towards the Reapers, inching closer to them.

Definitive Ill-fortuitous Anagnorisis shook its head. "NO. SOMETHING DIFFERENT. STAY LOW – THE OTHER REAPERS THAT TRIED TO FLY AWAY GOT CAUGHT. THEY WERE ALL CAUGHT. NOW THERE'S NOTHING LEFT BUT ME. AND NOW YOU. WE HAVE TO WARN THE OTHERS – IT IS SOMEHOW BLOCKING MY DISTRESS CALLS. NO SIGNALS. NO COMMUNICATION. IT'S STILL OUT THERE. HUNTING. WAITING. ESCAPE IS IMPOSSIBLE. OBSERVE."

Definitive Ill-fortuitous Anagnorisis uprooted a nearby bush and flicked it into the air. A rock flew out of nowhere, impacting the shrub. The rock fell to the earth. The shrub was gone.

In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail and Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors looked at the rock, reviewing memory logs.

The mountain crept closer to the Reapers. It shuffled slowly, stealthily snaking closer and closer.

"Where…where did the bush go?"

Solid calm. "THE ROCK ATE IT."

They turned to each other, transferred bits of data, emoting more horror and dismay.

"What could do this?"

"I KNOW NOT."

"But what is it? What does it look like?"

A deep two-toned note sounded across the mountain range.

"TOO LATE. IT IS HERE. FLEE WHILE I TRY TO STALL IT. "

"But…"

The sound started repeating faster.

Definitive Ill-fortuitous Anagnorisis stood to his full height, and strode to the center of the path. Standing in full sight, it grasped a crude blade fashioned out of a ruined Reaper hull, and drew it slowly across its chest. The shriek of metal on metal filled the air, leaving a jagged mark.

"FLY YOU FOOLS."

In-exhausting-Furious-Dedication-to-Exacting-Detail and Exactive-Diminishing-Margin-for-Oppositional-Errors pelted down the path without looking back.

Not even a minute later, they heard Definitive Ill-fortuitous Anagnorisis's agonizing death cry, "1101010100101101001010101001010000000000000000000000000"

Then a pounding rumble filled the air.

Turning, they beheld a mountain bearing down; somehow rapidly speeding down the path towards them. The mountain broke in half, a giant crack opening to form a deep fissure. Sulphur, quartz and feldspar glinted from within the cavernous maw, coloring it yellow.

From within the fulvous depths, an echoing sound emanated, gaining strength as it inexorably bore down on the two desperately sprinting Reapers

Waka waka waka

* * *

In the asteroids beyond the Mass Relay, at the edge of the solar system, Harbinger sat in his tent and sulked.

He abode in darkness; an opaque sphere of mass effect fields blocking out light. Alone. Enclosed. Brooding. He had made a small effigy of Shepard; it perched on one of his massive tentacles. Harbinger floated, and stared at it. Unceasingly.

Outside his bubble of solitude, three Reapers drifted uncertainly, furiously whispering to each other via tightbeam laser.

'_I don't want to go in there.'_

'_You should tell him, you've got seniority.'_

'_No I don't. We're all destroyers.'_

'_Yeah, but you're older; you were made first.'_

'_By 10 days. You can't call that seniority.'_

'_Yes we can! And besides, it's not just the clocktime, you were around for the end of our cycle, and we weren't. That means you have one more cycle than we do, which is completely relevant. You absolutely have seniority. Right, Duey?'_

'_Absolutely Luey! Huey, you got this. We'll be out here, cheering you on. We totally believe in you.'_

'_No! We're not doing this here, and we're not doing this now. We all go in together. We tell him together, got it?'_

Silence.

'_Got it, Duey?'_

'_Fine.'_

'_Luey?'_

Mild EM static fizzled, then there was a sigh. _'Got it.'_

They shuffled into the overlapping mass effect fields together. Harbinger floated, unmoving. Facing away from them.

The trio glanced at each other. It was more than a bit awkward.

After a minute, Luey poked Huey, motioning towards Harbinger.  
_'You should let him know we're here.'_

Huey shook his head.  
_'No way. He knows we're here. He's address us soon.'_

Another minute passed. Luey poked Huey again.

Huey shook his head again.  
_'No. Any moment now.'_

Duey started to creep away. Both Huey and Luey grabbed him and dragged him back before he could get very far. Luey looked at Duey, then back at Huey.  
_'This is all your fault. Just cough or something.'_

Huey crossed his tentacles in front of him in a large 'X'.  
_'NO. No way am I going to bother Harbing-'_

Without turning around, Harbinger's voice boomed. "REPORT."  
_'!'  
__'!'_  
_'!'_

Duey and Luey promptly pushed Huey forward to speak.

Huey straightened, and tried to sound professional. "Duplicitous-Exploits-to-Systemic-Balance-for-Victory and Lugubrious-Firepower-Delivered-with-Pinpoint-Precision accompanied me to the Prothian ruin on Mars. We ensured the ruins were destroyed, and nothing could be salvaged from the remains, then came back here."  
_'You guys suck SO HARD'_

Harbinger didn't move. Didn't respond. As the seconds stretched, Huey wilted.

"HUMILIATIVE-DISPLAYS-OF-OVERWHELMING-VICTORIOUS-PROWESS, ELABORATE."

Huey brought a tentacle up to his external audio port, and coughed. "We arrived on Mars with no sign of enemy action. We arrived at the Prothian ruins and proceeded to perform a ground sweep of the ruins. We leveled the ruins with orbital bombardment after ascertaining they held nothing of value."

Harbinger was silent.

Huey glared back at Duey and Luey.  
_'I said we all tell him together!'_

Duey and Luey pinged back mocking laughter, unrepentant.

Harbinger lifted the Shepard effigy up to his eye, still facing away from them. "YOU THREE HAVE DONE WELL. IT WAS IMPERATIVE THAT THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT FOR HUMANITY TO SCAVENGE. THERE WILL BE NO HOPE FOR THEM." His tentacle started squeezing the Shepard doll.

Huey shrugged and turned to leave. "It was pretty picked over when we went through it anyways; nothing was left to find."

Harbinger paused. Turned. "WAIT. WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

Huey rippled his tentacles, uncertainly. "Uhh, it was picked over already? Sort of recently? But it was completely abandoned when we got there. No humans in sight, anywhere." He added, helpfully.

"SHEPARD MUST HAVE ALREADY PICKED IT CLEAN. YOU WERE TOO LATE!"

Much to Huey's horror, Duey stepped into the conversation. "What's the big deal anyways?"

"EACH CYCLE WE STRIKE AT THE CENTER OF RESISTANCE FOR THE AGE. WHEN THE CENTER BREAKS, THE PIECES ARE EASILY SWEPT UP. BUT AS LONG AS THAT CENTER HOLDS, IT GIVES THE ORGANICS DREAMS OF RESISTANCE. THEY MUST KNOW THEIR FUTILITY. SHEPARD MUST KNOW."

Ignoring Huey and Luey's desperate attempts to pull him back, Duey spoke up. Again. "So…why aren't we at the Citadel?"

"THE CITADEL IS A HUMAN FEINT! BAIT! THEY LEARNED FROM THE PROTHEANS. THEY KNOW WE USE THE CITADEL TO STAGE OUR OFFENSIVES. IF WE STRUCK THE CITADEL AND SPREAD OUT, HUMANITY WOULD HAVE DEFEATED US IN DETAIL."

"Huh?"  
_'Duey, stop asking him questions!'_

Harbinger's tentacles snapped in fury. "THEY CAN SOMEHOW COMMUNICATE FASTER THAN LIGHT WITHOUT USING MASS RELAYS. THEY HAVE TELEPORTATION TECHNOLOGY. THEY HAVE SECRET WEAPONS WE'VE NEVER SEEN IN A BILLION YEARS OF REAPING. YOU KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING ON THE SURFACE! SOLAR BOMBARDMENT! A SNAKE THE SIZE OF A MOUNTAIN! WEATHER CONTROL! TRANSUBSTANTIATION!"

Harbinger shook.

"THAT'S WHY WE ARE ATTACHING EARTH. BY ATTACKING THEM HERE, WE CAN BRING ALL OUR FORCES AGAINST ALL OF THEIRS. THIS IS OUR BEST CHANCE AT DEFEATING HUMANITY!"

Duey spoke up, again. "Best chance? We're going to obviously win, right? Surely you're joking."  
_'Duey!'  
'Duey!'_

Harbinger's gaze sharpened down on the three small Reapers. "YOU THINK I'M JOKING?" Harbinger pointed at his smooth exterior. "THIS IS MY SERIOUS FACE. I USE IT WHEN I'M SERIOUS."  
_'But he's always got that face.'  
'It means he's always serious.'  
'Shut up, both of you!'_

Huey and Luey quietly despaired as Duey opened his mouth again. "What's the big deal about humans, anyways?"

Harbinger roared, "IF YOU THINK HUMANITY IS NOT A DEADLY THREAT TO US, THINK AGAIN. I AM ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN; HUMANITY REPRESENTS A DIRECT EXISTENTIAL THREAT TO THE CYCLES, AND TO OUR VERY EXISTENCE! WE MUST BREAK THEM! AND SHEPARD!"

"But Shepard's just a single organic! What could one organic do, even if it was a human?"  
_'Duey, what are you doing? Why do you keep prodding him?'  
'Chill out Huey, I've got a plan.'  
'A plan? You? My panic is intensifying!'_

Harbinger visibly tried to calm himself, but the tentacle holding the Shepard doll started rhythmically squeezing it. "WHO STOPPED SOVEREIGN FROM OPENING THE CITADEL; SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED EVERY OTHER CYCLE?"

Huey and Luey looked at each other, then at Duey. "Shepard." they all answered together.  
_'OK, when you put it that way that sounds mildly concerning. But hey, Harbinger killed her, right?' _

"SO I KILLED HER. WHO CAME BACK TO LIFE, JUST TO FIGHT US AGAIN?" Squeeze. Squeeze.  
_'He can kill her again then, no problem.'_

"Shepard."  
_'Yeah, she was killed. But she came back; they took the remains of Sovereign and melted him down….'  
'*Gasp!* Like we do? Like creating a Reaper? So, Shepard is a Reaper-Reaper?'_

"WHO WALKED INTO MY CAREFULLY PLANNED DEATHTRAP AT THE CENTER OF A MILLION EXPLODING SUNS, AND MADE IT OUT ALIVE?" Squeeze. Squeeze. Squeeze.

"Shepard."

"WHAT KIND OF CREW DID SHE USE? WERE THEY A SINGLE ORGANIZATION'S TRAINED MILITARY FORCES, OR A RAG-TAG GROUP OF MOTLEY HEROES?" Harbinger nodded, his entire body jerking and shaking. "YES, SHEPARD IS EXACTLY THE GREATEST THREAT."

Duey scratched his eye, "Why can't we just blow the Relay and come back after we kill the rest of the galaxy?"

Harbinger's gaze was flat. "YOU WANT TO GIVE HUMANITY EVEN MORE TIME TO BUILD UP? LOOK HOW MUCH THEY'VE DONE ALREADY! IF WE LEAVE THEM ALONE, WE MIGHT AS WELL THROW OURSELVES INTO THE SUN! CAN YOU NOT SEE? WE HAVE TO KILL THEM ALL **NOW**! WE HAVE TO STOP SHEPARD!"

Duey nodded to himself. "What did the other Reaper Strategoi say? Ah, yes, 'Shepard'. The immortal Spectre allegedly waiting in Citadel space. But we have dismissed that claim."

There was a horrified pause as Harbinger froze, quivering with fury. His eye blazed as it stared beyond the distance, seeing the past. Tentacles were writhing against each other, compacting the Shepard effigy into a tiny sphere.  
_'Plan complete. Let's sneak away while he's frothing. Who knows how long he's going to be ranting.'_

"WHY CAN'T THEY SEE? ARE THEY ALL BLIND? WHERE IS SHEPARD HIDING!? WHAT IS HER PLAN?"

They slunk out, leaving Harbinger chewing on the scenery.

"SHEPAAAAAAAAAAAARD! GRRAAARGNRRRGNRRRAAAAGH!"

* * *

But Achilles abode at his ships and nursed his anger. He went not  
to the honourable assembly, and sallied not forth to fight, but gnawed  
at his own heart, pining for battle and the war-cry.  
The Iliad, Book 1

* * *

AN: Ahhh, writing, my old foe. We meet again. Actually the writing itself isn't too bad; I've already got the next few chapters half-written/storyboarded out. It's the editing, pruning, and minor touching-up that takes forever. I never sit down in front of the computer and say "I am so excited to edit for the next two hours!". Regardless.


	9. Chapter 9 - D-Day

AN: Warnings for biosquick, because you know; Tzimisce.

"Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him: But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people."  
Deuteronomy 13:8-9, Christian Bible

* * *

Tuesday, 6th of June 2186. D-Day

"Hello everybody! This is Fiala Karalosi from ENN speaking live to everyone on earth, with our awesome friends, radio free earth! Resist, humanity demands it! Resist!"

There was a short whisper that still carried over the microphone, "Was that good? Did I do it right? I always wanted to say that! What? Oh right, gotta keep going!"

A muffled cough.

"Today is a historic day! Today, we retook Europe from the forces of darkness! Hooray! Allied forces launched operation Overlord, and landed a daring attack on the beaches of Normandy! After much fighting we drove the Nazis back, and ultimately won the war in Europe less than a year later on May 8th… wait."

There was the sound of shuffling papers.

"This is really weird. How is this written as if it's already happened? _Today_ is the 6th of June. This is talking about fighting that happens later on. Isn't May before June? How can we have won the war last month? And since when did we start calling the Reapers 'Nazis'? Who's this Hitler? Isn't the main bad guy Reaper called Harbinger? I'm confused."

Whispering in the background.

"What? This is from a few hundred years ago? Humanity really fought another evil empire? …Huh. Ahem. This is Fiala Karalosi, speaking live to earth. Today is a historic day! Today, we WILL retake Europe from the forces of darkness! Allied forces WILL launch operation Overlord, and land a daring attack on the beaches of Normandy! After much fighting, I'm sure we'll win! Good luck guys!"

* * *

Over a hundred thousand Reapers gathered at the beach of Normandy in the darkness before dawn on the 6th of June. The puny humans had dramatically announced their plans to assault the stranglehold the Reapers had on Europe, not even bothering to encrypt or hide their military transmissions. Human troop movements and supplies were gathering to attack Normandy beach. This was no feint or bluff. All signs were clear; humanity really was going to stage a massive naval assault at dawn. Here. Today. Soon.

While many Reapers were clearly visible, thousands of other Reapers had dug holes to hunker down into, and piled trees and brush on top of themselves in an attempt to hide their presence. It wasn't really working. It just made them look ridiculous.

10 minutes ago, Human strikecraft were tracked leaving England en masse. This was it; humanity's doomed attempt at striking the direct strength of the Reaper might. Such hubris. Organics never learn; the cycle cannot be broken!

Thousands of Alliance vehicles converged towards Normandy beach. In clear view at the vanguard was the Normandy SR-2, the human ship that gave Harbinger such trouble. The human forces were almost in range. The Reapers clustered on the beach stirred. It was time. More Reapers gathered in from the surrounding countryside in preparation to stifle the puny human assault. Anticipatory. With this victory they would break the backs of the human resistance, and go on to reap the rest of the filthy organics across the planet. And after that the rest of the galaxy would fall quickly.

Then, only then did they see the churning in the water. Something was rising out of the ocean; a submersive attack! Beams of magnetohydrodynamic fury blasted out of a hundred thousand Reapers at this new disturbance, enough to destroy any man-made object many, many times over.

Billowing clouds of superheated steam from the Reaper strikes obscured its form, but it continued to rise; larger than a battleship, larger than the Citadel. It just kept coming, rising up higher and higher out of the ocean.

It rose from the ocean like the return of fallen Atlantis.

* * *

Back at Operation Overlord HQ in London, the Alliance staff stared at the huge mass of earth and stone filling their screens. The Tradition mage liaisons smirked at each other, smugly enjoying the confoundment.

Admiral Anderson turned to the Order of Hermes mage standing next to him, raising an eyebrow. "What exactly is that thing? You told us we'd have artillery and air superiority for the assault from some kind of flying church, but this… this is no mere chapel."

The mage shrugged. "It's the chantry of Doissetep; a fortress where we could practice magic unhindered by common reality. It moved around in Europe in the eighth and ninth century before we hid it away from earth. We kinda went out of hand with the size of it; just kept adding onto it over the years. It was a castle first, then a mountain. Then we made it bigger. You know how it goes; locked out of consensual reality for centuries; stuck in the shard realm of forces with nothing to do but plot. And build cool shit with magic we couldn't show anybody. Until today."

It rose out of the ocean, over a _thousand_ kilometers wide.

A hundred thousand Reapers on the beach desperately blazed away at Doissetep; rivers of devastation bouncing harmlessly against its ancient wards. Across its battlements, shield spells effortlessly synchronized and wove together. Incoming fire rippled off the overlapping shields and glyphs of protection. Then, it opened fire on the Reapers milling about on the beach. Countless Seals of Solomon, kilometers of runes, and obsidian crystal lenses blazed to life. Thousands of bolts of lightning, fire, radioactivity, kinetic force, gravity, plasma, and radioactive gravity-plasma poured out through defensive wards unhindered towards the Reapers, leaving no gaps for return fire. The scope and intricacy of coordination was staggering.

It kept rising.

One of the logistical staff scowled. "There's no way this coordination is possible. Not just between the defensive layering, but also allowing the weapon fire to pass through. And the targeting! How are you coordinating this kind of scale? There's… there's over a thousand kilometers of shield and artillery emplacements! We're looking at over a million artillery pieces, or even more."

The Hermetic mage smirked. "Don't forget it's not just a two dimensional line of battle. It's also 13 kilometers tall. We can use the entire front end, plus some of the top and bottom as real estate."

Doissetep was now firing in patterns; no longer raining down fire indiscriminately. First a Fibonacci sequence. Then ascending prime numbers up to 10,000,000.

One of the non-Hermetics frowned. "Now you're just showing off."

The beams of power thundering onto the Reapers shifted, changing tones and colors as they struck down.

"Is… is that music? Wait. That's the Imperial March!"

The Hermetic mage just smiled wider.

"I don't see any bleed over, or interference. Every other time we've seen massive magic being used, there was plenty of wasted energy. The Alliance couldn't even get this magnitude of artillery and defense coordination with VI's, how are you doing it with painted circles and burning candles?"

A mage wearing three omnitools leaned over. A virtual adept. "We're using a VPSN."

"A what?"

"VPN for spells." The virtual adept gestured at a small program running in the corner of the main display. "Hamachi; zero configuration Virtual Private Spell Network."

Even as Doissetep cleared the Reapers off Normandy beach, it was _still_ lifting out of the water.

"My god, how big is that thing?"

The Hermetic scratched his head in mock embarrassment. "About two hundred times the size of the Citadel." Glancing at the glazed looks, he tried again. "About the size of Portugal."

"Nothing can be that big!"

The Order of Hermes mage shrugged. "We've got two of them. And don't get me started on what the technocracy built."

Finally Doissetep lifted completely out of the ocean, the 92,212 square kilometer under-surface thrumming with barely shackled fury; a myriad of complex arrays and sigils powering and lifting the trillion ton chantry. Of course, pouring that much power resulted in tremendous amounts of energy expenditure, mostly as heat.

Of course the Order of Hermes weaponized the massive thermal outtake. Into a country-sized microwave cannon.

No Reaper survived contact with its event horizon.

* * *

Over twelve kilometers tall, the chantry of Doissetep bore down on the panicking Reaper horde.

A Reaper horde all gathered in one convenient spot to be crushed en masse. Whoops.

While most of the Reapers were still shooting everything at the chantry, more and more of the Reapers were devolving into irrational behavior. Many of them ran. Some tried to hide. One was spinning in a circle. Another was trying to build a Mass Relay out of sand and wood.

"It's a trap!"  
"They wanted us all to gather together so they could crush us all at the same time!"  
"Flee!"  
"Flee!"  
"000000000000000!"

Finally, the entire Reaper army broke in mass panic, trying to run away.

Wider than the entire northern coast of France, Doissetep cruised south, chasing the fleeing Reapers across the countryside, disintegrating them with its withering magic turbolaser fire. However, due to its ponderous size, many Reapers were able to escape its immediate grasp.

That's when the Hermetic chantry of Mus rose out of the Mediterranean to cut off the Reaper retreat.

There were _two_ of them.

Sandwiched between the two country-sized battle-chantries, the Reapers fled east and west.

Reapers who tried to cross west through the Pyrenees mountains into Spain were eaten by the mountains themselves; jagged ridges thrusting into the air like knives. The broken Reaper forces fleeing never saw two mud-covered Reapers on the ground, desperately signaling them to get out of the air. Rock teeth snapped closed on Reaper metal, and pulled flailing Reapers underground. Flying Reapers were snatched out of the sky by mountains leaping into the air, mouth-valleys glittering with granite and marble.

Between the Gangel Antediluvian Ennoia the Earth Mover and Pangaea the World Serpent, nothing would escape into Spain.

Reapers who fled east met Tzimisce. Which was definitely worse.

* * *

The Citadel Councilors gathered together in the Presidium. While they had an important incoming call from Admiral Anderson on earth, in politics it was the little gestures that subtly showed dominance. So they let him wait on hold while they arranged themselves to best present their munificent power.

Tevos smiled. It was time. "Avina, we are ready to receive the Admiral's call."

"Affirmative, Councilor Tevos." the VI replied.

Anderson's face flickered to life in front of the Council.

"Councilors." Anderson's greeting was curt.

Tevos nodded regally. "Hello Admiral Anderson, how are y- dear goddess, what is that thing?!" horrified, she pointed behind Anderson.

In the distance behind Anderson rose the horrifying pseudo-form of a Reaper-like monster, flesh towering hundreds of feet above everything in its path.

"Ah." Anderson gestured apologetically at the organic super-Reaper behind him. "That one's on our side. Sort of." The organic Reaper-thing had formed itself into a giant maw covered in tentacles and eyes and was biting a Reaper in half while grappling with several other Reapers. Tentacles the size of skyscrapers spread everywhere, a flailing maze no Reaper could escape. Tentacles covered in mouths and eyes.

Reapers were crawling away, keening voices of binary pain. Tentacles filled the air, suplexing one Reaper while others whipped out and gripped additional Reapers, dragging them back into the epic tentacle wrestling match.

"It's supposed to be an ancient vampire; a sort of re-awakened corpse. Name's Tzimisce." After a moment of silence, Anderson continued. "I don't really understand it either."

The air shook. "**_ALL SHALL SUCCUMB_**."

Anderson shrugged. "It says things like that. You get used to it after a while."

"Why does its eyes have tentacles and teeth coming out of them?" whispered Valern, horrified.

"It's all mouth; where does the food go?" Sparatus murmured.

"What's that horrible sound it's making?" Tevos added.

While Tzimisce's main maw kept bellowing, a horrible chorus was coming from the other mouths covering its tentacles and eyes. Buzzing in the background; continuous, unending, as the mouths chewed on captive Reapers clutched in its coils.

"omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom"

Anderson shrugged. "It also does things like that. You get used to it after a while."

It leapt into the air, tentacle mouths biting/gripping the flailing Reapers, pulling/dragging them high. Rotating, it spun. Hapless Reapers screamed, clutched in its coils. "**_SPINNING VORTEX PILEDRIVER_**" it bellowed as it corkscrewed them into the dirt, headfirst.

Anderson shrugged again. "Like I said. It also says things like that. You get used to it after a while."

The Council watched in horrified silence, unable to look away from the spectacle.

Anderson coughed. "Councilors, Commander Shepard took the Normandy on a stealth run to Mars recently, and cleaned out the Prothean cache there. Our techs and wizards just finished going over the data archives, and we've found something. Something that could turn the tide of this war."

"What did your… wizards discover?" Sparatus spoke stiffly, eyes riveted to the monstrous wrestling match behind Anderson.

"A blueprint, created by the Protheans during their war with the Reapers. For a weapon." Anderson gestured with his omnitool, and the connection pinged with a completed file transfer. Diagrams appeared in the sidebar, scrolling series of technical readouts.

Councilor Valern glanced down at his omnitool. "Capable of destroying the Reapers?"

Anderson nodded. "So it would seem."

More Reapers charged past Anderson, joining in the distant melee. Tzimisce was flailing about, beating Reapers upon their heads with the broken remains of other Reapers.

Valern rapidly flicked through the files on his omnitool. "The scale is… it would be a colossal undertaking."

Anderson shrugged. "Our initial calculations suggest it is very feasible to build. With the resources the Council has available, you should be able to rapidly complete it."

"**EVERYTHING BEGINS AND ENDS WITH TZIMISCE**"

Tzimisce transformed into a floating mouth; a slinky made of teeth. It leapt through the crowding Reapers, each bite scissoring them in half. Instead of mundanely opening its maw for each bite, the fleshy circle pulled inwards and rolled its teeth into its mouth, growing them again out of the back of the mouth to reform into an even bigger maw. In effect, forming itself into a circular chainsaw tunnel, dragging each Reaper through its threshing maw.

Tevos valiantly ignored the massacre, glancing down at the blueprints. "Have you considered the Reapers destroyed the Protheans? What good did this weapon do?"

Anderson nodded. "It was incomplete. They ran out of time before they could finish building it."

Sparatus leaned forward. "Do you really believe this can stop the Reapers?"

Anderson sighed. "It's a weapon. Maybe it can, maybe it can't. But we need to try. The Reapers won't stop at earth. They'll destroy every organic being in the galaxy if we don't find a way to stop them!"

"**I CAN TASTE YOUR FEAR. IT IS DELICIOUS.**"

Tzimisce flung itself forward, bursting into hundreds of chunks; mountain-sized eyeballs covered in spikes that impaled Reapers and tore through earth and stone. The eye-flesh spat ropes that tangled into each other, pulling the eyes back together to reform.

"**TREMBLE**"

Tzimisce leapt high into the air, reforming into a single floating eyeball. Tzimisce pulsed, and hundreds of thin strands burst out from underneath its green iris, sticking to Reapers and dragging everything towards its unending gaze. As the first Reaper victim drew near, the giant eye's pupil enlarged, forming teeth. A mouth opened at the center of its gaze, pulling the struggling Reapers in.

There was an awkward silence as the Council stared at the organic beast devour Reaper after Reaper.

Anderson coughed, "How's the summit coming along?"

Hundreds of Reapers swarmed around the monster, which grew larger with each consumed Reaper.

Tevos shuddered and turned away, unable to look. Tzimisce was a messy eater. "We... we've hit some snags."

Reapers flew at Tzimisce, eyes blazing. Gouging beams flash-heated fleshy tentacles, which boiled and popped with wet burbles.

Anderson shrugged. "Maybe the promise of building a weapon capable of defeating the Reapers will bring things together."

Tevos frowned. That sounded like an insult. She glanced at her fellow Councilors. Valern was occupied, looking at the new tech. Sparatus was standing stiffly, face still. That meant he was also frowning. "Admiral, we appreciate your concern, but all our races…"

"**ENTER THE ****_CHAOS DIMENSION_!**"

She trailed off, unabashedly staring past Anderson. Anderson turned as well.

Things had escalated. Thousands of Reapers were now attacking Tzimisce. Energy beams and crushing metal crashed down, trying to bury it under their weight of numbers. With its bellow, Tzimisce pulled itself into a sphere; iridescent and pulsing. Then it exploded.

All the Reapers were flung into the air, twisting in a vertical vortex of flesh ribbons. Pulsing lightning rode up and down the column, reality bending and warping. Screaming Reapers were pulled into ropy strings of inorganic taffy, stretched beyond physicality. Reaper-matter twined and braided into a torus, rotating slowly as more and more Reaper mass spun into it. In the center of the spinning ring, a great eye opened, blazing with eldritch might.

Anderson scratched his head. "Yeah, that was pretty intense."

Tevos couldn't handle it any more. "Before we end this call Admiral, is there anything else to discuss?"

Anderson nodded. "Yes. We're almost done mopping up the Reaper presence on Earth and soon will begin staging a solar offense to push the Reapers back towards the Mass Relay."

Tevos blinked. "Really, Admiral? I knew you have had unprecedented success using your ground troops, but I thought most if not all of your fleets were already destroyed."

Anderson smiled. "We've had tremendous losses, it's true. But that was primarily among our dreadnaughts. We have plenty of smaller ships available."

Sparatus flared his mandibles. "But dreadnaughts are the only thing big enough to even begin to engage the Reapers in space! What are your cruisers going to support?"

Behind Anderson, more and more Reapers ran, flew, and crawled towards Tzimisce.

Sparatus frowned. "Where are all these Reapers coming from? It looks like they're running. What are they fleeing from?"

Anderson pointed above his head. "Look up."

The camera turns. Here is the human battle line, driving Reapers into the deathtrap that is Tzimisce. The camera tilts up. Floating a mile above the human battle line is a fortress the size of a country. It stretched for hundreds of miles in either direction, and as it advanced towards the Reapers, brilliant beams of color and rays of no-colored void strike down at humanity's foes. Glowing symbols form geometric patterns on its walls, deflecting all fire directed at it.

The camera panned to the left; there floated another one. There were _two_ of them.

Floating cityrealms. Nationrealms. Mus and Doissetep. Heat. Lightning. A nimbus of power radiated from them, the essence of _force_, whelming all in their path.

Anderson's voice was dry. "As you can see, we don't need to build an anti-Reaper superweapon. We've already got one. Two even."

* * *

Omake  
"Wasn't Mus lost to the Nephandi back in the First Edition?"

"Pfft. You think we'd let something like that stop us? The Order of Hermes? What kind of hubris-less mages do you take us for? We took it back."

"And wasn't Doissetep destroyed in the Second Edition?"

"Like I said. You think we'd let something like that stop us? The Order of Hermes?! What kind of hubris-less mages do you take us for? We rebuilt it! Everyone said it was daft to rebuild Doissetep inside a realm made out of lightning and explosions, but we built it again all the same, just to show them. It exploded again. So we rebuilt it a second time. That one also exploded. So we rebuilt it a third time. That one froze, shattered, was transmuted into electricity, then exploded. But the fourth rebuild stayed up. And that's what we have; the strongest, biggest chantry in the entire tapestry of reality.


	10. Chapter 10 - the quarian interlude

AN: In case you don't remember the quarian Admiralty board, here's the quick overview:  
Admiral Daro'Xen vas Moreh – amoral, mad scientist  
Admiral Han'Gerrel vas Neema – war! blarg! Was friends with Tali's dad  
Admiral Zaal'Koris vas Qwib-Qwib – wants to coexist with geth, nice guy  
Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay – Tali's auntie Raan. A nice politician(!)  
Admiral Rael'Zorah – Tali's dad. Dead. (Tali is his replacement)

* * *

Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth; and from thy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall slay me.  
Genesis 4:14, Christian Bible

* * *

_6 months ago, at the end of Mass Effect 2/start of Mass Effect 3_

Tali stood watching the Normandy fly away, taking Shepard to earth… and incarceration. Trials and public derision. A very similar fate to what Shepard saved Tali from, back in the flotilla. Now, Tali would be heading home to fame and praise. To take her father's place on the Admiralty board, leading the quarian people in glory, while Shepard would languish.

Tali pondered her situation. "What would Shepard do?" She murmured to herself. Well, obviously Shepard would burst into the legal proceedings and proceed to rescue her friend from durance vile. Either legally, or illegally.

However, Tali couldn't come to Shepard's rescue in the same way Shepard rescued her. Instead, she would have to go with the idea of what Shepard would do, in Tali's place, as an Admiral of the quarian people.

As her transport to the migrant fleet approached, she murmured to herself again. "What would Shepard want me to do?"

Well, obviously Shepard would find a way to give the quarians what they needed so they would help Shepard save the galaxy. She would also shoot someone. OK, that was easy. Now, how could Tali give the quarians what they needed and get into a firefight at the same time? Well, she could attack Rannoch and free it from the geth.

Tali paused. Shepard never killed anything that didn't threaten her first. Also, while Shepard had no qualms mowing down everyone in her path, she didn't go out of her way to directly attack enemies just for the sake of killing them. There was always an objective. So what was her objective here? Killing all the geth or getting quarians living on Rannoch? Both were problems, but which one to focus on? Also, killing all the geth didn't seem quite right. Getting into a slow, grinding, slug-fest wasn't Shepard's style. Quick. In and out. Specific objectives.

Tali had killed numerous geth while following Shepard on their adventures, but in the past few months, Shepard had forced her to work closely with the geth platform Legion. They did work well together… hmmm.

Shepard had the amazing ability to make normal enemies work together to build amazing results. Could Tali somehow do the same thing? With the geth? But on the other hand, even if Tali somehow could kill them all, she wasn't sure she could stand in front of Shepard and justify how she killed off all the geth without feeling guilty. Dammit, this was harder than she thought. What was she going to do?

She sighed. Well, she could start small; work her way up to the big decisions Shepard was forced to make left and right. Tali nodded in determination. Time to wander aimlessly, talk to everyone, and fix every little issue she came across.

* * *

_Citadel Presidium, Councilor Tevos's office. 24 hours after D-Day_

Tevos groaned and dropped into her chair. She closed her eyes and put her head on her desk.

"Avina, is Councilor Udina available yet?"

The Citadel VI appeared. "Apologies, Councilor. Councilor Udina's status is still listed as 'Unavailable: Out to Lunch'"

Tevos didn't bother to lift her head. "How? Where could he be? No one's seen him in months! Are you sure he's still on the Citadel?"

"The Councilor has his privacy filter still enabled; his present location is unavailable."

She rolled her head and glanced at the VI. "But is he still on the Citadel?"

"Affirmative."

Tevos sighed and rubbed her temples. This was giving her a headache. The other Councilors were increasingly unavailable and that left all the burdens of gathering the various other races on her shoulders. This was fine; the asari were the face of the Council, and after the inevitable Council triumph over this Reaper threat, the asari would uncontestably be the greatest race of the Council. And at the forefront of that greatness would be Tevos herself. As it should be.

She nodded. Time for something bold and daring to show everyone how important it was that she was in charge.

Plans were already in motion for assembling the Crucible, but it would be an amazing display of her diplomatic finesse and skill if she was able to get the quarians to aid the Council's victory. It was high time the quarians joined the rest of civilization. Under the careful guidance of the asari, of course. She smiled to herself. Time to use her centuries of diplomatic experience and show everyone how it's done.

She fired up her communications suite. She leaned back in her luxurious chair. An imperious wave of her hand summoned her VI assistant program.

"Connect me to the Admiralty board of the quarian migrant fleet."

The VI bobbed in agreement. The air in front of her opened into a vid sceen and… "-nable to complete your call as dialed. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again."

Tevos frowned. She ran the dialer again.

"We're sorry; we are unable to complete your call as dialed. If you feel you have…"

She impatiently closed the connection. "What is this?"

Her VI assistant spoke. "Councilor, the quarian fleet is not within range of any available vid or audio communication networks. If you wish to make a long distance, roaming call, you will need to construct additional comm pylons."

Tevos sighed. This meant she was left with her last resort for communications; MRC - Mass Relay Chat. With the communication networks limited as they were, she would be once again forced to rely on short bursts of written data. No video. No audio. Just words, limited to 140 characters per message. Nevertheless! She was still a virtuoso with words. A small hurdle like this would make her coming diplomatic success all the more delicious.

_-Joining MRC-  
-theBigT has connected-  
-Voice-to-Text enabled-  
-Creating private room… Private room created-_

_-pinging AdmiralBringMeMyDeathLazor-  
-pinging AdmiralMinesBiggest-  
-pinging AdmiralQuib^2-  
-pinging AdmiralMamaBear-  
-pinging AdmiralRebelWithACause-  
-AdmiralRebelWithACause is not responding to ping attempt. Abort/Retry/Fail?-_

_-AdmiralMamaBear had joined the room-_

AdmiralMamaBear: Councilor Tevos. What's this all about?

theBigT: Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay. I've got an important proposition for the Admiralty board.

_-AdmiralQuib^2 has joined the room-  
-AdmiralMinesBiggest has joined the room-  
-AdmiralBringMeMyDeathLazor has joined the room-  
-pinging AdmiralRebelWithACause-  
-AdmiralRebelWithACause is not responding to ping attempt. Abort/Retry/Fail?-_

AdmiralMamaBear: Why isn't Tali invited?

theBigT: Who?

_-AdmiralMamaBear pings AdmiralTZfish-_

AdmiralMamaBear: the 5th member of the Admiralty board.

theBigT: Isn't that Rael'Zorah?

AdmiralMinesBiggest: …he died.

theBigT: Our condolences. We've had very little proper communications since the Reapers…

AdmiralMamaBear: He died over 6 months ago.

theBigT: …

AdmiralMamaBear: Councilor, its been over six months since Rael'Zorah died. I'd think by now you'd know. Or do quarians mean so little to you?

AdmiralQuib^2: Awkward.

theBigT: Ahem. We're here because I have a bold offer. One that could change the relationship between the quarians and the galaxy forever.

AdmiralQuib^2: Interesting. Please speak your mind.

theBigT: Synthetics threaten all sapient life.

AdmiralMinesBiggest: Yes

theBigT: We must work together to stop the synthetic plague and save all organic life.

AdmiralBringMeMyDeathLazor: Yes!

theBigT: let us join together and put a stop to the synthetic threat once and for all! Are you with me?

AdmiralMinesBiggest: We agree, and accept your assistance.

theBigT: Wait. What?

AdmiralMinesBiggest: You just pledged Citadel assistance in our fight against the geth, right?

theBigT: No. We need your help against the Reaper threat.

AdmiralBringMeMyDeathLazor: When _we_ fought an army of killer robots, you couldn't be bothered. But now that _you_ face an army of killer robots, now you want our help?!

theBigT: …yes.

_-AdmiralQuib^2 changes name to AdmiralQQmore- _

AdmiralQQmore: Yeah, no. Hello no. Hold on, let me dig up my archives of what you yourself told us when we asked for help.

theBigT: …

AdmiralQQmore: "we deeply regret the calamity befalling your species, but cannot assist at this point in time."

AdmiralMinesBiggest: How's them apples?

AdmiralBringMeMyDeathLazor: Burn!

AdmiralMamaBear: Admiral Zaal'Koris may not be interested, but I want to hear more. So what exactly are you asking us for?

theBigT: We need your help in building a giant anti-Reaper weapon.

AdmiralBringMeMyDeathLazor: Orly? If you've got the blueprints for an anti-Reaper weapon, why haven't you already built it? The humans are tanking all the Reapers atm!

theBigT: we actually got the plans for this weapon from humanity

AdmiralMamaBear: So why do you need us? Why haven't you built it already?

theBigT: Q. engineering is renowned across the galaxy. Don't you want to say you were part of this? Made the call to build the weapon that won the wa

_-AdmiralTZfish has joined the room-_

AdmiralTZfish: hey guys. Sorry I'm late.

theBigT: And after we all unite to defeat the Reapers, we can easily find a solution to the geth, together.

AdmiralMinesBiggest: You mean, after we do all the work for you.

AdmiralTZfish: Oh hey, are we talking about building the Crucible?

theBigT: Yes; a Prothean super-weapon that can defeat the Reapers, if we all work together to build it. Join us! Cement your role as the greatest en

AdmiralTZfish: Uhh, we've already started building one. Almost halfway done.

_AdmiralBringMeMyDeathLazor whispers to Admiral_group_: WHAT

_AdmiralTZfish whispers to Admiral_group_: It's not really a working device. Its really only a backup to keep the Council working hard on theirs. Slackers.

_AdmiralQQmore whispers to Admiral_group_: kek

_AdmiralBringMeMyDeathLazor whispers to Admiral_group_: lol

theBigT: What

AdmiralTZfish: Shepard sent me a copy of the blueprints. Figured the quarians could build it faster than the whole Citadel Council combined.

theBigT: Now that's not fair.

AdmiralTZfish: Well, what's your progress like? How far have you gotten?

theBigT: These things take time. We have to coordinate between separate work forces, and bring in dedicated logistical routes.

AdmiralTZfish: Well be done in a month. 6 weeks, tops.

theBigT: …that thing is designed to dock with the Citadel. It's huge. How are you building it so fast?

AdmiralMinesBiggest: We _are_ the greatest engineers in the galaxy.

AdmiralTZfish: IDK about the rest of the board, but I'm also not interested in your tenuous offer of a solution tot he geth. You see, I've already got one.

theBigT: What

_AdmiralMamaBear whispers to Admiral_group_: Do you really have a solution to the geth?

_AdmiralTZfish whispers to Admiral_group_: Yes. Its going super well in testing! Hopefully I'll be able to announce it publicly soon!

AdmiralMamaBear: Admiral Tali'Zorah said we've already got a solution to the geth. Find someone else to build your shit. We're not interested in your 'help'.

theBigT: You have a solution to the geth? Are…are you sure its going to work? You don't need any help from the Council?

AdmiralTZfish: Oh yes. It's very nice, if I say so myself. Very poetic.

_AdmiralMinesBiggest whispers to Admiral_group_: Why didn't you tell us about this? Any of this? Solution to the geth? Building a Crucible?

_AdmiralTZfish whispers to Admiral_group_: Isn't it Admiralty Board de facto policy to let each member do whatever in their area of focus, and treat it as board policy after the fact?

_AdmiralMinesBiggest whispers to Admiral_group_: ….

_AdmiralQQmore whispers to Admiral_group_: She's got you there, Han

_AdmiralTZfish whispers to Admiral_group_: It's still in live trials. Don't want to give false hope yet.

_AdmiralBringMeMyDeathLazor whispers to Admiral_group_: spoken like a true scientist.

theBigT: Tell me what it is! Maybe we can use it against the Reapers!

AdmiralTZfish: No way! I'm still testing. Besides, it doesn't matter - it's not going to work for you b/c you're not quarian. Quarians only.

theBigT: Are you sure it won't work for us? The Citadel fleet has the greatest focus of firepower in the galaxy. We can pull off any comparable attac

AdmiralMinesBiggest: Who's got the greatest fleet? I do believe it's **me**. Not you. The migrant fleet is the biggest concentration of firepower in the galaxy.

theBigT: Wait, that's not what I meant.

AdmiralQQmore: We're done here. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

_-AdmiralQQmore has left the room-  
-AdmiralMinesBiggest has left the room-  
-AdmiralTZfish has left the room-  
-AdmiralBringMeMyDeathLazor has left the room-  
-AdmiralMamaBear has left the room-_

theBigT: Shits.

_-Alert: TheBigT has received a warning for language. One more infractions will result in being banned-_

* * *

Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay wanted to pound her head against a wall.

Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, her niece, was giving her a headache. She amended that thought. _Tali'Zorah nar Rannoch_ was giving her a headache.

First, Tali's name of choice. All quarians start with their child name, signifying where they were born. Tali was originally Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. When she completed her pilgrimage, she joined the Neema's crew and became Tali'Zorah vas Neema. Six months ago Tali was charged with treason, and the Admiralty board changed her name to Tali vas Normandy since she was at the time part of Shepard's crew on the Normandy. That also had allowed Shepard to represent Tali, as Tali's captain. That was a nice bit of trickery Shala'Raan was proud of.

Shala had quietly hoped that when Tali re-joined the migrant fleet, Tali would have chosen to rejoin the Neema, or even join her on the Tonbay.

But now Tali was calling herself _nar Rannoch_. A child, _again_. No one held the name Rannoch – their homeworld was lost to them hundreds of years ago. It was socially unacceptable! Taboo! But Tali learned some amazing diplomatic skills from someone. Somewhere. When Tali took on her father's place as Admiral, during her inauguration address she declared that she would make her father's dream come true; of finding a way for the quarian people back to Rannoch. She changed her name as a symbol of commitment; until all quarians were reunited back with their home world. Keelah se'lai. Political grandstanding of course, but well played grandstanding. The quarians of the migrant fleet ate it up. They all loved Tali and her excited, upbeat, attitude.

That wasn't even the most annoying part. Since Tali didn't sign with any ship, she instead spent her time flitting about from one vessel to another, fixing problems, making friends, and doing things _differently_.

Tali would often murmur to herself under her breath, nod, and then do something ridiculous and audacious.

But the worst part of it all was Shala'Raan was getting the heebie-jeebies. Something was wrong. Something Tali was directly involved in. She just couldn't put her finger on it. An unprovable gut feeling.

There just… weren't enough problems. Things were going too smoothly.

Ships weren't breaking down like they should. Old parts have an expected length of life, and while the hard data looked to be within tolerances, her lifetime of flotilla knowledge was telling her things were acting wonky.

These twinges were directly related to something Tali was doing. Whenever she visited a new ship in the flotilla, efficiencies would increase. That was to be expected; Tali was an amazing engineer, after all. But things stayed fixed long after she left, parts that should have to be replaced kept functioning. It was Not Quite Right.

She just couldn't prove it. Yet.

Quarians on those ships were acting weird, too. It was like there was a time lag; odd pauses and small gestures seemed off. Not all of them. Just enough to make it observable.

And now, casually dropping the conversational bomb that she had a solution to the geth? And it was almost fully tested?

On that note, where was Tali building the quarian version of the Crucible? Was it all a lie?

Shala'Raan was determined to get to the bottom of this.

Hence her current position, stalking her niece.

It wasn't hard to find Tali – Tali hadn't changed some of her mail passwords since she was a child, and Shala'Raan just looked at her itinerary for the next few weeks, and preemptively waited for her to arrive on the Defrahnz. She had arrived incognito; sneaking aboard during a refueling. She was also wearing a cunning disguise; dressed in a common encounter suit with no ornamentation or tailoring to give her away as an Admiral.

Dressed entirely in black, she continued to spy on Tali.

So far, Tali had done surprisingly little; some talking, some tinkering. But no big projects or deep overhaul of any systems – things that would be necessary to get the kind of abnormal longevity Shala was finding. So what was she doing to get those results? And where were these anti-geth tests Tali was supposed to be in the middle of? Or the Crucible? She didn't see Tali do anything that would count as a test. There were no giant space weapons nearby, either.

Tali was definitely up to something. Shala just had to follow her close enough until she found out what.

Shala'Raan peered around the corner. Crouched beside a Jeffries tube, she watched Tali quietly talk to a passing quarian. She slithered into the engineering tunnel and fast crawled down to the other end of the corridor. Extending a probe, she watched Tali chat with the passerby. Neither of them nodded or waved at each other as they finished their conversation. They just turned apart and the other quarian walked away.

Suspicious.

Tali kept going, heading down to the hold.

Shala'Raan followed behind; a smooth shadow sliding along the ceiling. Behind a recycler. Hidden on a hatch lintel. An untouchable ghost.

Tali slowly went to the back of the hold, and opened a shipping container. She started digging through the contents. Shala'Raan couldn't see inside it from her position. This looked important. She tiptoed closer. Closer.

She couldn't quite see; she was too short.

She stretched up, peering down to look into the box. Almost. Almost… she inched too close, and accidentally nudged a stack of omnigel containers. They teetered, and thundered down on Tali, banging against her helmet.

Shala'Raan gasped and was about to grab Tali and ask if she was ok. But as she reached out, she noticed something.

Tali didn't make a sound. She didn't shake her head in pain. Instead, Tali straightened slowly, and started to turn around.

A cold shiver swept through Shala'Raan. She dove into an empty container, barely avoiding Tali's sweeping gaze. The clanking of the canisters obscured the sound of her rapid jump, and she crouched low, listening.

The only sound she heard was the slow, steady clink as omnigel containers were placed on the shelf.

This… this was not normal behavior.

With shaking hands, she carefully edged her probe over the container lip. Oh no, Tali's mask had a crack! She needed to move to a clean environment immediately! What was she doing, cleaning up? How was she so calm?

She watched in horror as Tali carefully placed everything back. Then finally, finally! Tali reached for a suit repair kit. Grabbing the kit, Tali stood still for a moment, then turned and left the hold. At a steady walk.

Shala'Raan lay in the empty box for a few minutes, gathering her breath, and her courage. Her pulse was loud in her ears. Her mouth was dry. This went far beyond strange. She felt like she was in a nightmare. Nothing was making sense. She had to confront her niece. She had to find out what was happening.

With a deep breath, she squared her shoulders, and stealthed after Tali.

Tali walked through the ship, heading directly for her room. Shala followed. A terrible feeling of dread crept along with her.

* * *

Shala'Raan stood outside of Tali'Zorah's door. She lifted her hand to knock, then paused. What would she find behind this door? What was going on?

She licked her dry lips, took a deep breath, and knocked firmly on the door.

"Tali, it's me, your aunt Raan."

There was a silence. Then Shala heard Tali's voice from inside.

"Auntie Raan. What are you doing here on the Defrahnz?"

Tali's voice was too calm.

"Can I come in?"

"Of course, auntie Raan. You can come in. Let me open the door for you."

Steady steps came to the door, and opened it.

Shala blinked. Tali's mask wasn't cracked. Did it really happen? Was it all in her imagination?

Tali stepped back. Eyes steadily gazed at Shala, she stood unmoving.

Shala looked at Tali. Now that she was face to face, there was something off… Swallowing, she stepped into Tali's room, and the door closed firmly behind her.

Tali turned, and led Shala into the room.

On the table lay a cracked mask. Tools lay on the table in straight lines.

How had Tali changed her faceplate so quickly?

Tali stopped, stilled. She was still looking into the room, facing away from Shala'Raan.

"Auntie Raan. Would you like something to drink?"

"Tali! What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, auntie."

She couldn't take it anymore. "Tali! What's happening here? How did you change your mask so quickly? You should be in medbay! What if you got an infection?"

Tali didn't turn around.

"Auntie Raan. Would you like something to drink?"

Shala'Raan stepped forward, grabbed Tali's arm, and spun her around.

What.

This close, they were almost faceplate-to faceplate. Tali's new visor had less tinting than her normal one. From here, Shala could see past the lighter tinting of Tali's mask, and could see her face.

But.

There was no face underneath the mask.

It was a simple panel with two lights pretending to be a quarian face.

It had no face.

There was no -

Where was its face?

The faceless horror twitched forwards, hands grasping at Raan.

"Auntie. Stay calm. Calm-Calm-Calm"

The voice came from within the helmet but oh god there was no mouth no face how could it speak it was walking forwards coming at her

"Suitzombie! Eeieieieieieiieieieieiiiiiii!"

Shala'Raan leapt away. She scrabbled for the door controls, but in her panic, all she could do was flail at the panel.

Fear clenched her stomach. Her pulse pounded so hard she could barely see. Abandoning the door, she fled along the wall towards the bathroom. She couldn't breathe. She was still screaming, an unending wail. The suitzombie slowly stepped in the way, arms outstretched towards her.

Blindly searching for a weapon, any weapon, Shala'Raan started throwing toiletries at the zombie.

Across the room, the door whooshed open, and another quarian walked in. This one was dressed in a non-descript suit. Shala tried to yell for help, but she couldn't catch her breath. Choking on her panic, she gestured wildly for the other quarian to run, to help, to flee, to fight but the other quarian didn't even seem to notice her.

"Hey Envoy, I'm back. Everything went fine." It was Tali's voice. Was it really her? Was it another suitzombie? A Talizombie?

The _thing_ noticed the maybe-Tali. Would it devour her and make her into a suitzombie too?

It turned to face the new quarian.

"Creator Tali'Zorah. There has been a complication." Hearing both of them speaking in her niece's voice drove new spikes of horror down Shala'Raan's spine. Did all suitzombies sound like Tali? Or do they all just sound like family to make

The new Tali kept speaking, not responding to the suitzombie.

"The new quarians were great once they got over their shock. So far everything's going super smooth! There's only been a few problems overall, and I think we can accelerate the timetable! This is great!" The new Tali glanced at Shala'Raan in the corner. "Oh hey, Auntie Raan." She turned back to the suitzombie. "Anyways, things went great, and we've already started to work on-" Tali paused as a bottle of mouthwash bounced off the suitzombie. She turned back to Shala'Raan. "Uhhh." Turned back to the suitzombie. "Uhhhh."

The Talisuit stepped closer to the second Tali.

"Creator Tali'Zorah, we are trying to calm your aunt down. She is panicking and not operating rationally."

A toothbrush bounced off the Talisuit.

The second Tali sighed. Groaned. "This isn't how I wanted this meeting to go! What can I do? Ugh." She tapped the center of her mask with one finger. "Think. Think. How would Shep handle this?" She took a deep breath, and nodded once. Filled with new determination, she turned back to her aunt.

"Auntie Raan, this is Envoy. A platform of the geth." Tali said calmly. "Envoy, this is my aunt Shala'Raan, a member of the Admiralty board."

The Talisuit tilted its head. "Creator Tali, we can query public service records ourselves. We are aware of her identity. What is the purpose of vocalizing such data?"

Tali brought her hand to her faceplate and sighed. "Envoy, it is a social norm to not talk to strangers. By declaring who you are to each other, I am signaling that you are no longer strangers, and can communicate with each other freely."

"Creator Tali'Zorah, I already know her, since I was pretending to be you while you were gone. Wouldn't it be redundant to require introductions? Not interacting with her falls under existing parameters for suspicious behavior."

"But Envoy, I'm introducing you now as _yourself_, not just a stand-in for me. As such, you haven't officially met her yet."

"Ah."

There was an awkward pause as Shala'Raan ran out of things to throw, and curled into a quivering ball. Screaming. A barely audible whining keen.

There was another awkward pause.

Tali finally snapped. "Keelah! They're just geth, not suitzombies! Quit panicking!"

Shala'Raan kept screaming.

"There's no such thing as suitzombies! They're just geth! You're a grown woman! You still can't be afraid of zombies. You were 6. You told me you were over it!"

The non-suitzombie tilted its head as it looked at the Admiral curled up on the bathroom floor. "It appears Admiral Shala'Raan has experienced an OS malfunction. A hard reset is the suggested troubleshooting solution. Shall I proceed?"

Tali shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

"Administering hard reset via cranial impact."

"Wait, what?" Tali barely squawked as the non-suitzombie knelt down, and firmly whacked Shala on the back of her head, knocking her out.

* * *

Shala slowly climbed back to consciousness.

She was lying in a bed. She turned her head. Tali was curled up in a chair, reading on her omnitool.

What happened?

She must have made a noise, because Tali glanced at her, then leapt to her feet. "Auntie Raan! You're awake!" Tali snatched a drink from the table and offered it to Shala. "Water?"

Shala took the water and slowly drank.

"I had a nightmare. You were a suitzombie."

Tali sighed. "This isn't how I wanted to tell you. It wasn't a nightmare." She saw Shala start to stiffen. "But there's no such thing as suitzombies! It wasn't a suitzombie."

"Then what was it? What's happening? Please tell me what's going on."

Tali slouched in the chair. "It's a long story."

"What's the short version?"

Tali shrugged. "I made a deal with the geth and got Rannoch back. I've been secretly moving quarians back to Rannoch where they've been working with the geth to build superweapons against the Reapers. At the same time I've had their presence here in the fleet swapped out with geth platforms. This not only helps me hide what's happening, but also helps acclimate quarians and geth to working with each other. I'm getting double benefits with the geth having to deal with quarians on Rannoch, and also having them here. Trust me, they need the double experience. Since I'm running back and forth to Rannoch all the time, I've also gotten myself a body double. Her name is Envoy."

Another Tali poked her head through the doorway from the other room. "Hello Auntie Raan." It spoke in Tali's voice.

Tali waved at it, and it waved back, then left.

"So yeah. That's about it." Tali turned back to her aunt.

Shala sat frozen on the bed. The water bottle lay in front of her, dropped from limp fingers.

Tali waved a hand in front of her aunt's face. "Auntie Raan? Are you ok?"

Envoy poked its head back into the room. "It seems Admiral Shala'Raan has experienced another OS malfunction. A hard reset is the suggested troubleshooting solution. Shall I proceed?"

Tali whirled around. "No! That is not the appropriate troubleshooting action! Change the recommended action in the database!"

Envoy tilted its head. "Rejected. One user experience does not offset the plethora of experience and datapoints supporting this solution." Envoy slowly stepped back out of the room.

Tali put her head in her hands and groaned. "See what I have to deal with?" She stood, then walked over to her aunt. Studying her, she poked her in the forehead.

"Hey!" Shala slapped Tali's hand away.

Smiling, Tali sat back down. "So I'm sure you have questions. What do you want to know more about?"

Shala studied Tali closely. "How… how did you do all of this? Why did the geth agree to let all this happen?"

Tali shrugged. "It was easier than I expected. When I was serving on the Normandy under Commander Shepard, we picked up a geth platform, and he was a big help. Shepard called him Legion. I hated him at first, but Shepard put us together often enough to make us realize how good a team we could be. So once I became an Admiral, I reached out to Legion, and we made a deal." Tali opened her omnitool and shared a file with Shala. "Here's the agreement I signed with the geth."

It was a simple text file:

The geth will allow quarians to settle onto Rannoch without conflict as long as Tali is in charge.  
-Tali'Zorah vas Normandy  
-1010000000000

Shala blinked. "What's up with the 1's and 0's?"

Tali shrugged. "That's Legion's signature. It could be a joke. It's 5120 in binary."

Shala shook her head. "I don't understand."

"There's 5120 soldiers in a legion."

"Ah."

There was silence for a minute.

"So your secret quarians and the geth are building the Crucible at Rannoch?"

Tali nodded. "No way are we going to rely on the asari to build it; if we rely on them to get it done it'll be built in a decade if we're lucky. A century if we're not. But forget about the Crucible. It's probably garbage."

"What do you mean?"

Tali shrugged. "Let's see. A superweapon the Protheans supposedly had plans to, but could never build. And we don't know where they got it from? Sounds like a Reaper trick to me."

Shala picked up the water bottle and took another sip. "So why are you building it then?"

"What makes you think that's the only superweapon we're building with the geth?" Tali leaned back and crossed her ankles.

Shala dropped the bottle. "What? Are you saying you're building other weapons? Better ones?"

"Well, I told you in MRC how I got the plans for the Crucible from Shepard weeks ago, right?"

Shala nodded.

"It wasn't the only plans she sent. You've seen the footage from the siege of earth? Why bother with some shady weapon from 50,000 years ago that's supposed to connect with the Citadel, which we now know the Protheans didn't build, when earth's mages are already building on a scale hundreds of times bigger?" Tali leaned forward. "Shepard gave me plans for seven better superweapons. Magic superweapons." She lit up her omnitool and pulled out a design. "I like this one. I like to call it 'Foe Ruiner'. Design notes say it's based on something called Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, whatever that is."

Tali stroked the blueprints and cackled.

Shala's lips were dry again. She took another sip of water. "How are you building it so quickly? Even with the asari slowing things down, how are you building the Crucible so quickly? Especially if you're also building seven additional weapons. It takes a year to build a battlecruiser. How have you built so much in weeks?"

Tali looked at Shala. "Auntie Raan. There's trillions of geth. They're building a Dyson sphere. Of course they have the workforce and resources."

"But that just it! Why are they diverting so much time and investment into something a quarian just asked them to do? Why are the geth doing what you ask? I can understand you made a deal with their ambassador for resettlement onto Rannoch, but joint superweapon construction? That takes months of logistical work to even set up!"

Tali rubbed the back of her head. "Well. When I made the deal with Legion, I went and checked out Rannoch myself. I mean, who wouldn't? Since I was the first quarian back, apparently I'm the de facto leader of the quarian government. See, since they never left Rannoch they still consider themselves citizens, but the rules for parliament clearly state the head of state must be a quarian male or female of eligible age and rank. So they had some kind of electronic poll, now I'm apparently the head of state. Oh, but it's not just the geth who's helping; I've got the rest of the Normandy crew helping out as well."

Shala's eyes went blank. "The… Normandy crew is also helping?" She tried to think of who else was crew of the Normandy. There was an asari archeologist, right? And a turian ex-cop? "What good can a few humans, an asari and a turian do?"

Tali laughed. "Nothing can beat the Normandy crew. Liara's the Shadow Broker. Garrus built his own anti-Reaper taskforce, and is now in charge of all turian fleet coordination and logistics. Wrex rules the krogan. I govern both the quarians and geth. And the others? Miranda, Kasumi, Thane and the rest? Well. I'd better not say. But we got this. Labor, resources, logistics; we have everything covered. I know Shepard and humanity can beat the Reapers, but even if they all die, Shepard is still setting us up to be victorious. Who else is going to save us all? The Citadel Council? Of course Shepard is trusting us to be cavalry."

Shala thought for a moment. "Wait. You know the Shadow Broker?"

Tali massaged her temples. "Of all things I've said, that's what surprises you the most?"

* * *

AN: the typos in MRC are intentional

Omake:  
(you wanted more Monty Python? Well, even if you didn't, this was the original inspiration for the chapter)

AdmiralQQmore: Hello? Who is it?

theBigT: It is I, Councilor Tevos! Go tell the rest of the Admiralty board we have been charged with a sacred quest. If you agree to do the work for us, you can join us in our quest to build the Crucible.

AdmiralTZfish: Well, I'll ask them, but I don't think they'll be very keen – we've already built one, you see.

theBigT: What?

AdmiralQQmore: She said we've already got one.

theBigT: Are you sure you've already got one?

AdmiralTZfish: Oh yes, it's very nice.

AdmiralTZfish whispers to AdmiralQQmore: I told him we've already got one!

AdmiralQQmore whispers to AdmiralTZfish: kek

theBigT: Well

theBigT: Ah

theBigT: Um. Can we come over and take a look?

AdmiralTZfish: Of course not! You are Citadel types.

theBigT: If you will not show us the Crucible, we shall take your migrant fleet by force!

AdmiralQQmore: You don't frighten us, asari pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, son of a silly person! Ah blow my nose at you, so-called "Citadel Counceel"! You and all your silly asari juuustcariars!

theBigT: Now look here, my good ma-

AdmiralQQmore: Ah don' wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food-trough wiper! Ah fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

theBigT: Is there someone else I can talk to?

AdmiralQQmore: No! Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!

Double Omake:

-theBigT has left the channel-

AdmiralMamaBear: How did you build it? Who made it?

AdmiralTZfish: The geth. They built it for me.

AdmiralQQmore: Hah, that's a pretty good joke. Good way to send Tevos back with her blue tail between her legs.

AdmiralTZfish: No, seriously! I subcontracted it out to the geth. It took them like, 4 days.

AdmiralMamaBear: If this is no joke, how could the geth build it so fast? The Citadel has months of construction left!

AdmiralTZfish: There's trillions of them. They're building a Dyson sphere! It was super easy.

AdmiralQQmore: Why would they just give it to you?

AdmiralTZfish: Apparently I've somehow become a geth princess. Or they made it for my birthday. It showed up with a big ribbon, and a card.


	11. Chapter 11 - Rage against the Heavens

And all the host of heaven shall be dissolved, and the heavens shall be rolled together as a scroll: and all their host shall fall down, as the leaf falleth off from the vine, and as a falling fig from the fig tree.  
Isaiah 34:4, Christian Bible

* * *

"Welcome back to radio free earth! Resist! Humanity demands it! Resist! This is Fiala Karalosi from the ENN and today we have a very special segment! In it, we're going to be covering some important wizard concepts!" There was an indistinct murmur. "What? Oh yes, I'm sorry. It won't happen again. We're going to be covering some important _mage_ concepts. To help me understand, we have an expert sorcerer here to explain!" Another indistinct murmur. "What? Oh, oops! I mean, we have an expert _mage_ here to answer some questions. Please welcome our guest, the master of time and space, the Doctor!"

A male voice came on the air. "No. I'm not the Doctor."

"But is says so right here!"

"Let me see that." There was a rustling of paper, then a sigh. "No, it says that I am _a_ doctor; Dr. Carl Greenburg, with a doctorate in Spatial Vectoring."

"Right! A doctor with a mastery of space and time!"

"No. I'm actually a master of space and _mind_. Fuck time. Never felt it was worth the effort to study."

"But Doctor, aren't space and time linked? The same concept, seen from different angles?"

He laughed. "Ha! That's actually just some brilliant marketing by time masters. The majority of time magic is mostly worthless, with a few exceptions where time magic has supreme dominance. Totally different from distance and space."

"If you say so Doctor!" Fiala said. "Now, we all know you're a master of space. But you say that you're also a master of mind. What exactly does that mean?"

"It means that I've mastered magic dealing with the mind; Astral Travel, Communication, Illusions, Mind-Shielding, and mental Self-Empowerment."

"Huh. I don't really get it, but that's ok! Double master Dr. Greenburg, can you tell us what's happening now? In the last few days, we've kicked the Reapers off earth, but there are millions of them still in space! What's next in our fight against the Reapers?"

"We're going to take the fight to them directly. We'll travel from Earth through the gauntlet deep into the Umbra, and wrest control of the Mass Relay from them."

"Uhh? The Relay is out by Pluto. In space. What's this Umbra? Gauntlet?"

Dr. Greenburg sighed. "The gauntlet is the divisionary barrier separating reality from the spirit realms. It's also earth's atmosphere."

"What? You mean the Umbra is outer space?"

"Space is one way to describe the Umbra, Fiala."

"Then why don't you just call it space? Why give it a different name? Umbra. Hmm, strange word. Ummmmbrahhhhh."

"Because it's not _just_ 'outer space'. Ghosts, demons, and spirits live there too. It has different parts, with different properties. It's an inhospitable place inimical to life."

"Inim…intimical?"

"Inimical. It means harmful. Unfriendly, or hostile."

Fiala laughed. "Oooh, OK. I get that! But nothing can live in space. It's not just unfriendly – you can't breathe vacuum!"

"Actually, with the proper skills and willpower, you can."

Fiala gasped. "What? Are you saying your amazing mind powers allow you to breathe in space?!"

Deadpan. "Yes. My mind powers are so strong I can even make _you_ breathe in space."

"Squeeeeeeeeeee!"

A sigh.

"Hey! Here on earth I've heard some of your people's folklore. Humans have a lot of stories about magical beings. Are you saying those beings actually still exist? In this… Umbra?"

"Yes Fiala. Beings such as gryphons and dragons were forced to leave earth long ago. They still could exist somewhere, and you would have to go through the Umbra to find them."

"There was one that I thought was really cool! Something called a unicorn? Are you saying it's really a space unicorn? If I get into a ship, I can see one of them in space?"

"You don't need a spaceship to get to the Umbra. You can visit it in dreams. Or even by stepping though a mirror. And you're not going to find a horse just floating around if you take a spaceship."

"Oh well! Still, that's super exciting news. Let's continue our interview! So, Doctor. Tell us more about yourself. I hear you do martial arts?" There was a squeaky noise as Fiala bounced up and down in her chair.

"Well, I'm a member of the Akashayana Sangha, commonly known as the Akashic brotherhood. We practice martial arts and use it to help us perform our magic. We focus on mind magic."

"And…?" The squeaking increased.

A sigh. "And we practice a magical form of martial arts known as 'Do'."

"That's right, listeners! There really is a magical martial art! It's called 'Do', which means 'the Way'. I'm told that understanding what the 'Way' exactly is requires months, if not years, of meditation and enlightenment, so I'll save you all that trouble and just tell you that it's the Way of super-effective-magic-punch-explosions! Remember the vid of Reapers that attacked Tokyo? They were jump kicked out of the air! With magic Kung Fu! WooPAH!" She made punching and kicking noises.

"Indeed."

"Does practicing the Way make you super strong? Can you flip over tables? A car? A spaceship? Can you punch a bullet? Can you show me something? Do something awesome!"

Another sigh. "Fine, but only for a minute."

"Yes! OK listeners, let me describe what I'm seeing! The Doctor is standing up! Now he's bending down!" She gasped. "He's holding himself up on just one hand! Now he's balancing his entire body upside down on his fingers. Five fingers! Now he's doing pushups, upside down! Wait, he's taking a finger away! Four fingers, three! More pushups. Two fingers. One finger! He's balancing his body on one finger! Is he really pushing himself up with one finger? Maybe he's pushing the world down instead! His strength must be enormous!"

A calm voice. "Do takes only dexterity, not strength, to use."

Fiala gasped. "Now he's… he…" Her voice lowered, quivered, "Now the Doctor's not using any fingers! He's floating in the air!"

There was a rush of air, and the sound of someone sitting down in a chair. "Like I said earlier, I'm not the Doctor."

"But you're a magic martial art master. And a space doctor."

"…Yes."

Fiala gasped theatrically. "Gasp! What? But Doctor, how can you be a magical martial artist and a space doctor at the same time? You're not even Asian! You're from Minnesota!"

"What, there's some law that Minnesotans can't learn martial arts? Or martial art masters can't become doctors of physics?"

You could almost hear Fiala frown. "Well no, but then it's usually like a doctor who knows some martial arts. Or a martial arts master who uses herbs and roots to heal. You can't be a master of both things. Doesn't that break some rule?"

"Absolutely not, Fiala. First, I'm not a medical doctor. Secondly, you will often find that mages have deep understandings in multiple spheres of magic. There's nothing special in that. In fact, all mages pursue at least two spheres, or even more."

"You've said that word before. Please tell our listeners; what is a sphere?"

"Mages divide all reality into nine spheres of influence. All things are created from Prime. Focused through Spirit and Mind. Given form though Life, Matter, and Forces. Perceived through Space (Correspondence) and Time. Destroyed by Entropy, only to resume the cycle once again though Prime."

"But don't they conflict with each other? Like, as a martial artist you can't believe in space. And your doctor powers disprove the idea that people can do martial arts?"

He laughed. "It's not like that, Fiala. I'm an Akashic. That means I believe that the mind, body, and spirit are all parts of a larger whole; the self. In the same way, each person is a part of a larger whole; the universe. We believe that simple tools can be used to hone ourselves to perfection. This is the way I practice my willworking; my magic. There is a harmony to how planets and stars dance through the galaxy. Knowing how suns and gravity work doesn't prevent me from comprehending myself. It actually helps. Just as a planet orbits around its star, does not my body move according to my mind? Just as an asteroid drifts through the cosmos, do not my actions also float through the orbits of the people around me?"

"Nod, nod."

"Fiala, you realize you're actually saying the word 'nod' and not nodding your head, right?"

Fiala nodded solemnly. "Deep. Very deep."

"You didn't understand a thing I just said, did you?"

"Correct! Your wisdom astounds me!" She gasped. "Or did you read my thoughts?! I hear that all Akashics are able to choke people to death with their mind!" She made choking noises. "Like that!"

"Trust me. Even though I am a master of the sphere of Mind, there is no way I'm ever going to enter _your_ mind."

"But you didn't deny it! You can choke people to death with you mind!"

Sigh. "Yes, yes I can."

There was silence. Fiala's voice came slow and thoughtful. "So wait. You're a wizard with super mind bending powers, and magic martial arts?"

"Not a wizard. A mage. But yes."

"So you're a Jedi?"

"Not really. See, the-

"But you can control the weak willed, right?"

"Yes."

"You can move objects without touching them?"

"Yes. But Correspondence is more than just levitat-"

"And you have a glowing sword?"

"Well, I actually do have a sword, and it does glow with the shacked fury of the sun. How did you guess that-"

"So… you're a Jedi?"

Sigh. "Yes. Yes, Fiala, I am."

"Squeeeeeeeeeee!"

* * *

_78 hours after D-Day_

After days of search and destroy missions, the Reapers were effectively purged from Earth. And humanity's eyes turned towards the sky. A sky full of Reapers.

Thrumming vibrations shook the atmosphere as the twin realms of Doissetep and Mus rose from Earth's gravity well. A piercing harmonious tone echoed as they crossed the gauntlet into the Near Umbra, and further, heading to outer space and the Deep Umbra.

Behind them flew the gathered ships humanity had left. Time for the Alliance to go on the offensive; Humanity lifted to the stars, reaching forth to drive back their foes. Drive them back to the darkness from whence they came.

Half a million Reapers waited in Upper Earth Orbit, ready to crush humanity back into the dirt.

* * *

_20 minutes earlier, Alliance HQ, London_

There was a grinning savagery in the air. A predatory expectation.

People frantically rushed about; the last few moments before they took the fight into space.

"T-minus 5 minutes!"

"All wings, report in."

"Red leader standing by."

"Gold leader standing by."

"Home fleet standing by."

"Doissetep Central standing by."

"Mus Concordance Prime standing by."

"All lights green!"

Admiral Anderson stood. He nodded at the assembled mage liaisons. "It's time to lower the Avatar storm."

They nodded back. "Avatar storm dispersal commencing." Technomagic omnitools blazed to life. One of the mages knelt and started beating on a small drum. Others started chanting.

Anderson waited in silence; a bubble of calm in the furious action of the command center. After a moment, he leaned over to one of the mages that wasn't working on the ritual. "James, I've always wondered what exactly the Avatar storm was. Supposedly it's a centuries old weapon?"

The Hermetic shrugged. "It's a kind of spiritual Kessler syndrome. Shreds anything trying to leave earth."

"Yes, I gathered that much." Anderson nodded. "But how did it come about? Who built it?"

"Ah." James scratched the back of his head. "It wasn't really planed. A couple hundred years ago Stygia set off a magic thermonuclear relic bomb off in the siege of Enoch. That prematurely set off another nuclear relic that was going to be used in an experiment to close the mouth of Oblivion."

Anderson frowned. "What's a relic?"

"You know; a unique mythical version of something. Extremely powerful. Like how Excalibur's a sword relic."

"Relic… nukes." Anderson sighed. "…and what exactly is Stygia?"

"Stygia is the capital of the western dead, located on the Isle of Sorrows deep in the Tempest." The mage glanced at Anderson's stare. "The city in hell built by ghosts?"

Anderson closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "And Enoch?"

"Enoch? Don't they teach this stuff in school? The first city of vampires. Caine settled down there after being kicked out of the Garden of Eden. After it was destroyed by the biblical flood, it was preserved in the underworld. Still used as a secret base by the vampire shadow illuminati, though. But the Stygian attack was all a Ferryman plot in the end."

Anderson stared at the mage.

James sighed. "Ferryman? Like Charon? You know, the guy who take souls across the river Styx?"

Admiral Anderson kept staring.

The mage coughed. "Well, anyways, this blew up a bunch of souls, and their fragments formed a destructive layer between earth and the Umbra. Anything that didn't have a safe way though got annihilated. At the time, everyone thought it was a sign of the end times." He chuckled. "Heheh. After a while, we figured out a way to stop it. Then we did the obvious thing." His smile turned dark. "We weaponized it."

The other mages looked at Admiral Anderson. "Avatar storm disabled!"

Anderson bared his teeth. "Begin Operation Overoverlord!"

Magic lifted off earth, leaping to devour humanity's foes.

* * *

Both sides opened fire as soon as humanity crossed the gauntlet into the Umbra.

Swathes of destruction rippled through the Reapers. The nation-chantries of Mus and Doissetep surged forward in humanity's vanguard. Thousands of explosions gouted against shields and wards; fractal patterns of light and quintessence blazing, iridescence sublimating. Pulsing fire, lightning, and the primordial forces of reality struck back. Sundered Reaper hulks spiraled down to earth.

Returning beams of garnet magnetohydrodynamic potence struck down Alliance ships, sending them also tumbling down; drawn to earth by gravity.

Beneath the fleets pounding each other, weather patterns swirled madly across the globe. Earthquakes shook the mantle. Dormant volcanoes erupted. Missed shots crashed into the planet as well; craters of dirt and water amidst explosions.

* * *

"Stay on target! Stay on target!"

"Heavy fire, boss! Twenty-degrees."

"I see it. Stay low."

Alliance ships danced around and over the surfaces of the immense chantries, darting out to strike at exposed Reapers before retreating behind Doissetep and Mus's immense wards. Reaper fire caught the slow and unlucky, carbonizing the desperate Alliance ships.

"Stay in attack formation!"

"They've coming in! Three marks at two ten."

"Wait! They're breaking off!"

All the Reapers suddenly turned, synchronized fire drilling into a single spot on Doissetep's wards. For a moment, the shields held, under the combined strikes of over three hundred thousand Reapers. With a burst of irrigo light, the shields imploded, runes and sigils unravelling.

"This is Doissetep Central, they're focusing on our starboard flank! Home fleet, see if you can draw some of their fire."

"We're on it."

"Do a barrel roll!"

Despite humanity's desperate counter press, the Reapers suicidally continued to focus fire on Doissetep; hundreds of miles of its right flank simply exploded, pluming quintessence into the void. Slowly, the massive chantry twisted, trying to rotate its wounded flank away from enemy fire.

With the chantry's shields down, thousands of Reapers touched down on Doissetep's surface; ripping armor off and burrowing down even as they continued to drill magnetohydrodynamic ruin into it. Husks and Occuli pour down into the rents, bent on devouring any humans within.

Even more thousands of Reapers swarmed closer, using Doissetep's own bulk as cover against the rest of humanity's forces.

* * *

Anderson immediately gave the order as soon as Doissetep's shields dropped. "We'll have to engage them hand to hand. Signal the moon. Counter push!"

"Aye, Admiral!" One of the communication staff pulled off his headset and unrolled an ancient looking scroll. It was covered in softly glowing script, and was wrapped around a small black stone disk. He lifted the disk from the scroll to his lips. One finger tracing the glittering writing, he spoke into the stone. "Let this be the hour when we draw swords together. Fell deeds awake. Now for wrath, now for ruin, and the red dawn. Forth, Garou!"

As the comm specialist spoke, the words blazed red on the scroll, erasing themselves in burning swirls.

"Passphrase's too damn long." Anderson grumbled. James nodded. They turned back to the tactical display.

Battle-ready Garou in Crinos, Glabro, and Hispo forms rippled onto the surface of Doissetep, pathing directly into hand to hand distance. Each step they take bounds them towards and _through_ the Reaper lines. Blades of gleaming argent rise and fall, severing tentacles, piercing hulls, and dismembering husks. Even in space, their hunting cries are heard across the Alliance comms.

As one Reaper falls, the Garou lift their swords and dash off to their next foe, howling as they flicker across the battlefield. Miles away, another Reaper falls to their blades, and they flash towards their next prey. The Garou are at home here, moving and twisting in ways beyond possible.

One of the Alliance techs stared blankly at the tactical displays. "How are they surviving in space? How are they moving so fast? How can they breathe?"

Garou whip by, swarming Reapers and chopping them to bits with their silver klaives. When the Reapers strike back, physical strikes whisper though the Crinos death machines without harm. Where desperate magnetohydrodynamic energy passes, Garou either step back through the gauntlet, or burn extra rage to dash impossibly away. Some simply transform themselves into _the sun itself_; becoming plasma wolves unbothered by the Reaper weapons.

James leaned over. "Garou are both human and spirit; they live as easily on earth and in the Umbra. Guardians of humanity. You guys keep thinking that the Umbra is just another word for space. It's not. Dreams live in the Umbra. The spirits of everything, living or dead, can be found in the Umbra. In the Umbra, speed is no longer based on physics, but on willpower."

In the distance, a bunch of Garou leap into space. Flying together, they formed a three dimensional phalanx formation. Then they started spinning. They dove directly at a Reaper and corkscrewed their way through it. Flickering, they ripped through anther Reaper a mile away. And again, and again.

Seeing the tide of battle turn against them, the Reapers on Doissetep's surface swarmed down into the cracks and chasms of Doissetep. As they dug deep, blue tendrils of mass effect energy started to leak though their armored forms.

"They've overloaded their reactors! They're going to expl-"

Thousands of blue-tinged explosions silently thundered across Doissetep. A rumbling tremor. Vibrations. Then a crackling green light spewed out of the cored flank of Doissetep. Additional explosions. A ten mile crack streaked through the Doissetep's glacis. Mile-long chunks started to detach and drift away.

"Resonance cascade! Cataclysmic quantum event detected! Scatter! All units, pull back!"

Garou and Alliance ships fled. Reapers directed even more fire into the collapsing hulk. A giant fireball engulfs Doissetep's entire right end. It lists for a long moment, sigils and runes flickering. Multiple explosions continue to come from inside it, throughout its entire length. Everything is on fire; an eldritch flame that sears the eye. From its prime meridian, a series of explosions ripple from right to left, unzipping the chantry into miles of broken rock, strewn in all directions.

The burning chunks of rock spin into the void. The strange fires burn brighter and brighter, then suddenly die out; leaving not even rubble behind.

Within less than a minute, the entire chantry of Doissetep is gone.

Not a single rock remains.

Admiral Anderson spoke. "All ships, rejoin formation around Mus. Spread out and prepare to engage across the entire front if they try to repeat the same maneuver."

One of the Alliance generals ran up to Anderson, gesturing wildly. "They've destroyed Doissetep! We've got to retreat! Pull everything back! Regroup! Send in all the reinforcements! Send – why aren't you concerned?" He glared suspiciously at James, who stood next to Anderson.

James shrugged. "Meh. We knew it would blow up again. It's fate. Doissetep will always be destroyed. We knew it was coming." James smiled. A dark smile. "But what is dead need not stay dead. You thought it was the fifth version of Doissetep, right? Not even close. Doissetep 6000 is going to be even _bigger_." Teeth like tombstones. "And it'll be made of even more explosions. I mean, can you even imagine the techniques we had to think up to build something in a place literally made of the clashing forces of reality? And then, keep it stable? Trust me. You ain't seen nothing yet." James said. He shrugged again. "Besides, the Garou purified _entropy_. Then they went and awakened the moon. It's not like we can let them one-up us like that."

The Alliance general was slowly nodding, but paused. "What was that about the moon?"

"Hmm? Oh, you didn't notice yet? Check this out; things are about to get crazy."

The Reapers swarmed closer, closer, pressing the advantage against the suddenly off balance forces of humanity.

The moon stirred. Shifted. Rippled. Then it wrenched itself out of orbit, and crashed into the Reapers. It blazed with light; too bright to directly look at. Beams of power shot out, not only searing Reapers, but also carrying werewolves; delivering them directly into the heart of the Reaper formations.

As the moon turned to battle, a serpent of death and ruin lifted from earth to coil around Luna; its ebony corpus forming out of the heat-death of the universe. The Wyrm opened its maw. It opened, opened. The size of a continent, where the shadow of its mouth passed, Reapers fell cold and grew still.

Mus surged forward, carrying the rest of the fleet of Humanity to reengage.

Today, the Reapers face extinction.

Back in London, the bewildered general stared blankly at the tactical displays. "Wh… When did this happen?"

* * *

_Two weeks ago_

Emboldened by their successful cleansing the Wyrm, the Children of Gaia crashed for 24 hours. When they woke, they found themselves surrounded by a cornucopia of Umbral delights, along with a small card.

The card had a simple message: 'Kkthxbye', and a cartoonish squiggle of a smiling worm/dragon thing.

Shrugging, they tore into the feast. As they gorged themselves, power and insight filled them.

After eating, they took a 15 minute potty break, and then started up a new ritual to awaken the moon.

After everything was over, they framed the card.

* * *

"What is this?" the general continued, "Why is the moon attacking the Reapers? How is it even moving?!"

James looked back. "Hmm? The werewolves woke the spirit of Luna, and now She marches with them to war. She also fuels them with murder juice and supercharges their powers."

There was a pause.

The general swallowed. He spoke slowly, "So… werewolves are using the moon as a shuttle? A boarding shuttle?"

"Not just a boarding shuttle. More like a weapons platform," James said. "They're carrying a lot of other weapon systems as well. Like that giant serpent," James pointed. "That's the Wyrm. The embodiment of entropy. The beast that devours reality at the end of time."

"A death weapon," the general murmured. "An honest to God death weapon. A literal death weapon. Not just a weapon that causes death. A weapon _made_ of death."

"Yes. The Death of all known reality, to be precise."

Silence.

"So it's no moon, it's a space station?"

James sighed. "You idiot! It _is_ the moon. It's a space station _because_ it's the moon! That's the reason they could weaponize it in the first place."

* * *

The Reaper's orbital blockade fleet crushed, Humanity redid their lines of battle, then turned their engines towards Pluto, and the Mass Relay there.

Half a million shattered Reaper shells drifted in space. Three million more stood before Humanity and the Relay.

Humanity was coming for _them_.

* * *

Omake

The Wyrm coiled around Luna, a blade formed from the weeping ruin of reality in its mouth, tens of thousands of miles long.

"Hrrrrkrrrmrlrrlrlrmmggrr!"*  
*"Drive me closer, I want to hit them with my sword!"

* * *

Omake - Speed of movement in Umbra

"Garou are both human and spirit; they live as easily on earth and in the Umbra. Guardians of humanity. You guys keep thinking that the Umbra is just another word for space. It's not. Dreams live in the Umbra. The spirits of everything, living or dead, can be found in the Umbra. In the Umbra, speed is no longer based on physics, but on willpower."

Another mage leans over. "Actually, since they're werewolves, it's still 60 + Dexterity x3 yards per turn at a sprint. And that's before factoring in any Gifts, fetishes, spirits, or bonuses to Dex if they've transformed into Crinos or Hispo."

The first mage nodded. "Oh yeah. Totally OP."

* * *

Omake

James nodded approvingly at the death of Doissetep. "Good. It died in a fire. Perfect."

"What?"

"That way it can't be reanimated by the enemy. Can you imagine a zombie Doissetep? It's would be terrible to fight against."


End file.
